This probably won't be the last time I do a body med and have no idea what the heck it is, hence my adding a number to the title. That used to always be the case, that I didn't know.
For years I could not hear my guides. I could see their lips moving, isn't that hilarious, but I could not hear them. Now they won't shut up. (Just kidding. Sort of.) Today when I asked Tek what this was he tried to tell me. I could feel that I was blocking him.
It SO bugs me because I don't know why. I mean seriously, who cares? I had already DONE the meditation, it was over, so why not know what it was? Why would my psychology block that? God only knows. Anyway so today it was a mystery.
I was sitting in my rocking chair again, waiting for the slab bacon to finish baking, since I had already finished the marinade for dinner's Pork Loin Rotisserie. (Apparently today is eat-a-pig day. I'm sorry, pig.) I had no idea how much longer the bacon was going to require cooking because I was cooking twice as much as usual at a lower temp than usual.
Me: Self, how much longer till the bacon will be done?
Self: About 8 minutes.
(Me to myself: why did I never before think of just asking myself such things??)
Me: Tek, I have 8 minutes. Do you have a med that can fit in there?
Tek: Yep. (He instantly starts putting stuff in front of me.)
I'm sitting at a table with him standing near me, and in front of me on the table to the left is a small soft object. I can't decide if it's irregularly shaped or the vaguest bit rounded-triangular in 3D. It looks like it is covered with greasy grime of some kind. But at least nothing is growing on it. So the disgust level is not too bad but it's not super pleasant, either.
To the right on the table is what looks like a silver hair pick, the kind with about 8 tines in a row. In school the kids with afros used to just stick them in their hair and leave them there (which I found hilarious. I wondered what would happen if I went to school with a hairbrush stuck in my hair one day. I didn't think anybody would get it. Or they'd kick my ass if they did).
Me: Tek, surely you cannot mean for me to spear this little thing with that tool but I can't think of any other way to use it on it.
Tek: The tool is for later.
So I started to pick up the little mucky thing and then stopped.
Me: I'm going to add gloves and so on here...
Tek: No. You need to touch this.
Me: You're kidding! Aren't you the guy who once forced me to wear a hazmat suit during one of these?!
Tek: That was something different. You need more of a connection to this.
Me: Oh brother. Ok fine. I'll have one hand that has no gloves. Maybe just the fingers. Maybe -- oh hell {on sensing "that look" from him}, FINE THEN.
So I pick it up in my hands and visualized that I'm holding it gently over a sink running the cleansing water of life and I work on rinsing it off. It takes a bit and I have to gently rub it all over to get the stuff off. Finally it's clean.
Me: What do I do with it?
He takes it from my hands and then he and I are someplace else. He hands me the silver tool and points upward. I look straight up, craning my neck back in a way, and I see there is this long ... damn. Shapes are hard to describe. Imagine something about four inches wide that is just like some kind of layer of something and it's slightly irregular but long in shape, like 4 inches by a few feet.
(You understand my perspective is all over in these. It could be microscopic, really.)
Tek: You need to break up the surface covering that area first.
So I took the tool and did tiny little pokes, very completely across it, and I brushed all the junk off that I'd broken up. Then I imagined some forced air cleaning it off really well.
Tek: There are actually tiny little tubes of a sort, in just the shape of your tool, that go into this. You can't see them well because they are clogged. You need to gently push the tool all the way into those holes to help clear them out inside.
I felt around. I could feel them more than see them. I set a tool-guide visual that when my tool was precisely in the right place it would ding and light up, and then I would gently push it all the way in and pull it out again. These things were maybe half an inch apart and it took awhile to go through the whole length of that region. Then I did another forced-air and then a water of life pressure wash to make sure everything was clear. I went through all the junk and made sure it was fine-particle size, imagined lightning frying it all into "inert" chemically, then dumped it in a waste bin.
The thing above me now was more dark fleshy pink colored than it had been and seemed like it would be sort of ... exuding something from the other side of it to this side, like a long flat-tube-ish area just dripping something into the area where I was standing from tiny little pretty regularly-spaced holes.
Me: So what's the little thing I washed got to do with that area up there?
Tek: It deals with what comes in from up there.
Me: What is that thing, and this area?
Tek: {I see his lips moving but can't get the concept or word. Damn!}
Body: Eight minutes are up! Your bacon is done.
I leap up and walk to the kitchen and open the oven. It's perfectly cooked. Way to go.
PJ
.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Body Meds: Liver
Apparently this is what happens if you just ignore archetype meditations altogether for awhile. The mountain comes to Mohammed.
*
I was relaxed but not at all asleep when Tek showed up. Tek is a 'body-archetype' I guess. Times when I drop into this "white lab area" to work on stuff related to my body, he's the technician. But it's usually a matter of me going there and there he is. Never have I seen him anywhere else -- let alone in my awareness when I am not meditating at all. But there he was.
And suddenly we were together somewhere 'else'. In the 'else'-place, there was what I thought was a big wall, but then realized it was a big object of some kind, I was just seeing a part of it. The wall was lightly covered in places, and super densely in others especially nearer the top, with these darkest-brown "nodules". They felt like spherical barnacles.
I had the feeling that whatever they had begun as, attached in a tiny piece but added to it and grown, it had been "alive". Not alive like a full life form, but like... like molecules and cells felt a bit more alive than they normally do to me, and they were as much alive as anything else at that level.
He pointed and I followed his focus. A wave of nausea passed through me, which is pretty common for body-cleaning areas he focuses me on. I could tell that the surface of this wall/object was normally firm but soft/flexible. But where the nodule/barnacle/sphere-things were present, it seemed to be firmer (most of it), and where they were denser especially around the top, it got stiffer until in the areas where they were super dense, the entire area just seemed really thick, rock-hard and encrusted.
That didn't seem like a good thing at all.
Tek handed me some kind of tool. It looked like a kitchen implement but nothing I've seen before. It was silver and was a group of strong straight wire-like things with blunt ends, bundled together at one side with a handle, with the middle one sticking out more than the others. I had the feeling I was supposed to do something with this, like use it on the nodules. Maybe to pry them off, I thought, though it wasn't clear how that shape would apply to such a thing.
"I'm falling asleep," I observed, in some apology to him because that meant my awareness would be checking out any time now. He just stepped back as if to leave, and then said as he vanished, as if oh-by-the-way: "That's your liver."
I was so interested in that I knew, blessedly, I would remember it. Then I fell asleep.
I forgot about all this until this evening. I was sitting in the rocking chair holding my cat Lina, relaxing while my rotisserie cooked a few chicken breasts. I couldn't think of anything I felt less like doing than concentrating on disgusting things in my head, at that moment, but I didn't have any good excuse for NOT doing the med as I sat there doing nothing else of value.
So I dropped back into the 'place' I'd been with Tek. Called The Angelics, the 'archetypes' of Angels, who showed up and both placed one hand on a shoulder blade behind me. They don't give energy but they 'share guidance' is the best way to put it.
I called Inner Guide (IG) and asked for whatever archs she thought needed, and I brought in Sun (and held him tight for awhile) and Responsibility as my standards. She brought in Venus and Mars, although I was baffled at what they would have to do with this kind of thing.
I didn't know where to begin though, and finally had the presence of mind to ask IG for whatever archetype could best help me work through this meditation. Then I wondered why I never thought to ask for that kind of archetype before. Too obvious, maybe? It was an ordinary guy who I was super comfortable with.
*
He thought maybe I should start in what seemed like a corner sorta. It wasn't, it was just the positioning of the object (which was about 3x as big as me in that perspective), but it was at the very top, the hardest area, that made sense. I took the tool, turned it this way and that and said, "This is just not really made for this." I imagined a short sword, then worried about hurting the organ itself, so I changed the blade to something like my very thick, tough silicone spatula that I use for everything in the kitchen -- as a turner, a scraper, a stirrer, sometimes even a knife for soft things.
I started trying to slide the blade under the heavy crusted nodules but they seemed literally attached. I mean like some part of them... bit into or attached to actual cells of the organ. Like how barnacles I think can slightly soften the rock or something (I could be wrong about that). He said, "No reason not to try the standard archetype process." So I imagined the water of love and chemical of love and special-barnacle-peeling-gel-of-love hahaha. Then I had the idea for lightning and I psych'd myself up for it, and then imaged a flood of lightning flashing through me and specifically electrifying all this junk and 'separating' it in a flash from the organ.
Then I went with the short-soft-sword all around the organ. I pried off all this stuff, and it wasn't that hard to pry it off as I thought it would be. Just a lot of it was all. I got the entire object done except one small spot on the other side that had some kind of problem and I had to say I'd come back to it; it felt like in that area, there was actually an erosion, an eating-away-spot gouging out a small area.
I had intentionally imagined a 'catching' area for all the massive crap I was hacking off. Looking down, it was like one of those rooms full of balls that kids jump in, except everything was in varying shades of brown and yucky. Tek suddenly showed up at my right.
"That's what the tool is for," he said, motioning to all the stuff. "You need to break it up into tiny pieces. We don't want to release this like it is into the body."
So I went through first and 'stabbed' all of the nodules so everything was broken up into chunks. Then I went through, imagining it moving impossibly fast, and broke everything up like a whisk of sorts, until everything was a fine-granuled particle. Then I visualized dumping it all into a big sealing trashcan that would take it straight to 'waste disposal'.
*
I almost forgot, then I went back to the spot that had some kind of problem. Up close, it looked like something had been 'eating away' at this tiny spot. I finally, with the arch's guidance, decided to disassemble the cells all around and inside that area, a bit like cutting out the rotting flesh in a way but gentler, and got that made inert and broken up and in the waste. Then I poured energy into the 'healing' of that area from inside and out. In the end it was still vulnerable and I imagined some kind of good-cells that would cover it like a bandaid patch while it totally healed and got its natural shape back again.
*
Tek said that went just fine and he has more I could do if I were willing. I said ok then. Sure why not. I'm really working on supplements and reading on biology and more lately, so it's sensible I'd be tuning into body-stuff.
PJ
.
*
I was relaxed but not at all asleep when Tek showed up. Tek is a 'body-archetype' I guess. Times when I drop into this "white lab area" to work on stuff related to my body, he's the technician. But it's usually a matter of me going there and there he is. Never have I seen him anywhere else -- let alone in my awareness when I am not meditating at all. But there he was.
And suddenly we were together somewhere 'else'. In the 'else'-place, there was what I thought was a big wall, but then realized it was a big object of some kind, I was just seeing a part of it. The wall was lightly covered in places, and super densely in others especially nearer the top, with these darkest-brown "nodules". They felt like spherical barnacles.
I had the feeling that whatever they had begun as, attached in a tiny piece but added to it and grown, it had been "alive". Not alive like a full life form, but like... like molecules and cells felt a bit more alive than they normally do to me, and they were as much alive as anything else at that level.
He pointed and I followed his focus. A wave of nausea passed through me, which is pretty common for body-cleaning areas he focuses me on. I could tell that the surface of this wall/object was normally firm but soft/flexible. But where the nodule/barnacle/sphere-things were present, it seemed to be firmer (most of it), and where they were denser especially around the top, it got stiffer until in the areas where they were super dense, the entire area just seemed really thick, rock-hard and encrusted.
That didn't seem like a good thing at all.
Tek handed me some kind of tool. It looked like a kitchen implement but nothing I've seen before. It was silver and was a group of strong straight wire-like things with blunt ends, bundled together at one side with a handle, with the middle one sticking out more than the others. I had the feeling I was supposed to do something with this, like use it on the nodules. Maybe to pry them off, I thought, though it wasn't clear how that shape would apply to such a thing.
"I'm falling asleep," I observed, in some apology to him because that meant my awareness would be checking out any time now. He just stepped back as if to leave, and then said as he vanished, as if oh-by-the-way: "That's your liver."
I was so interested in that I knew, blessedly, I would remember it. Then I fell asleep.
I forgot about all this until this evening. I was sitting in the rocking chair holding my cat Lina, relaxing while my rotisserie cooked a few chicken breasts. I couldn't think of anything I felt less like doing than concentrating on disgusting things in my head, at that moment, but I didn't have any good excuse for NOT doing the med as I sat there doing nothing else of value.
So I dropped back into the 'place' I'd been with Tek. Called The Angelics, the 'archetypes' of Angels, who showed up and both placed one hand on a shoulder blade behind me. They don't give energy but they 'share guidance' is the best way to put it.
I called Inner Guide (IG) and asked for whatever archs she thought needed, and I brought in Sun (and held him tight for awhile) and Responsibility as my standards. She brought in Venus and Mars, although I was baffled at what they would have to do with this kind of thing.
I didn't know where to begin though, and finally had the presence of mind to ask IG for whatever archetype could best help me work through this meditation. Then I wondered why I never thought to ask for that kind of archetype before. Too obvious, maybe? It was an ordinary guy who I was super comfortable with.
*
He thought maybe I should start in what seemed like a corner sorta. It wasn't, it was just the positioning of the object (which was about 3x as big as me in that perspective), but it was at the very top, the hardest area, that made sense. I took the tool, turned it this way and that and said, "This is just not really made for this." I imagined a short sword, then worried about hurting the organ itself, so I changed the blade to something like my very thick, tough silicone spatula that I use for everything in the kitchen -- as a turner, a scraper, a stirrer, sometimes even a knife for soft things.
I started trying to slide the blade under the heavy crusted nodules but they seemed literally attached. I mean like some part of them... bit into or attached to actual cells of the organ. Like how barnacles I think can slightly soften the rock or something (I could be wrong about that). He said, "No reason not to try the standard archetype process." So I imagined the water of love and chemical of love and special-barnacle-peeling-gel-of-love hahaha. Then I had the idea for lightning and I psych'd myself up for it, and then imaged a flood of lightning flashing through me and specifically electrifying all this junk and 'separating' it in a flash from the organ.
Then I went with the short-soft-sword all around the organ. I pried off all this stuff, and it wasn't that hard to pry it off as I thought it would be. Just a lot of it was all. I got the entire object done except one small spot on the other side that had some kind of problem and I had to say I'd come back to it; it felt like in that area, there was actually an erosion, an eating-away-spot gouging out a small area.
I had intentionally imagined a 'catching' area for all the massive crap I was hacking off. Looking down, it was like one of those rooms full of balls that kids jump in, except everything was in varying shades of brown and yucky. Tek suddenly showed up at my right.
"That's what the tool is for," he said, motioning to all the stuff. "You need to break it up into tiny pieces. We don't want to release this like it is into the body."
So I went through first and 'stabbed' all of the nodules so everything was broken up into chunks. Then I went through, imagining it moving impossibly fast, and broke everything up like a whisk of sorts, until everything was a fine-granuled particle. Then I visualized dumping it all into a big sealing trashcan that would take it straight to 'waste disposal'.
*
I almost forgot, then I went back to the spot that had some kind of problem. Up close, it looked like something had been 'eating away' at this tiny spot. I finally, with the arch's guidance, decided to disassemble the cells all around and inside that area, a bit like cutting out the rotting flesh in a way but gentler, and got that made inert and broken up and in the waste. Then I poured energy into the 'healing' of that area from inside and out. In the end it was still vulnerable and I imagined some kind of good-cells that would cover it like a bandaid patch while it totally healed and got its natural shape back again.
*
Tek said that went just fine and he has more I could do if I were willing. I said ok then. Sure why not. I'm really working on supplements and reading on biology and more lately, so it's sensible I'd be tuning into body-stuff.
PJ
.
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