The warden
Led a prisoner
Down the hallway
To his doom...
Merle Haggard's song "Sing me back home" has been stuck in my head for two days now. Mostly the first three lines above. I'm not even sure I've heard the song since I was a little girl.
Sometimes I get this effect when something is pending that gets my attention (such as the artist dies shortly after). But sometimes it's just a song, out of nowhere.
Do you ever wonder why that happens? What is going on inside us, that suddenly we are sparked into repeated reminders of some obscure energy we might not have thought of in years?
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Sharing Realities
It has been a long time since I had the state of mind to pull this particular nifty feat off.
I was in a dream when I was distracted by something beautiful off in the distance. Fountains or something like it jetted into the air. Me and the other person in my dream took off hiking toward it.
Eventually we reached a little castle/keep-like structure, old stone. We went inside, and there were lovely gardens here and there. Clearly someone cared about this place.
A man came out, a priest, and we spoke and he was giving us a tour. He was of The Order of Saint Bartholomew he said. (I don't know that this even exists in real life.)
Then someone knocked on my door, in this reality. I heard it, realized I had to get up as it was my housekeeper, but SO hated to leave the dream!
So in the dream, without leaving it, I recognized all that, and I said to the priest, "Perhaps my body will stay here with you, or perhaps not, I don't know. But I must leave; I'm being distracted by something in my other life. But I'm so sorry to miss you and I hope we meet again."
He nodded, and then I let myself wake up, and I stumbled out to unlock the door.
I can't even remember the last time I was lucid enough to operate both in a dream world and in this one simultaneously.
I was in a dream when I was distracted by something beautiful off in the distance. Fountains or something like it jetted into the air. Me and the other person in my dream took off hiking toward it.
Eventually we reached a little castle/keep-like structure, old stone. We went inside, and there were lovely gardens here and there. Clearly someone cared about this place.
A man came out, a priest, and we spoke and he was giving us a tour. He was of The Order of Saint Bartholomew he said. (I don't know that this even exists in real life.)
Then someone knocked on my door, in this reality. I heard it, realized I had to get up as it was my housekeeper, but SO hated to leave the dream!
So in the dream, without leaving it, I recognized all that, and I said to the priest, "Perhaps my body will stay here with you, or perhaps not, I don't know. But I must leave; I'm being distracted by something in my other life. But I'm so sorry to miss you and I hope we meet again."
He nodded, and then I let myself wake up, and I stumbled out to unlock the door.
I can't even remember the last time I was lucid enough to operate both in a dream world and in this one simultaneously.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Archetype and Session Ramblings
Yeah... I know. It has been far too long since I've blogged anything anywhere. Especially at this one, which is too weird for even the weirdos I know. If you're reading this and ever wondered about yourself, now is the time to worry.
It's one of those things where, had I been blogging, I would have had probably 50 things I could have blogged about, but now somehow I have none. Because it would be like making a big deal of just little things.
So as a way of kind of getting back into occasional blogging again, I thought I would just clean out the recent file drawer so to speak. Which is not all that exciting. But I notice when I go back and read my blogs that what happens on day 10 is often related to what came before, for example. So whatever happened the last week or less is probably going to have some effect on what happens this and next week. So I might as well get it down on virtual paper.
*0*
Alrighty then. First on the front: Archetype meditations for remote viewing.
Now the most interesting thing about this lately is my realization yesterday, when I went back and read this blog's few entries, that I had completely forgotten just about everything. I mean literally forgotten. Like all the previous experiences on this blog including my 3-stage approach to using archs in viewing, simply never existed.
I noticed about a dozen years ago, for the first time, that my personal version of reality was, at best, unusually creative. This is not something most people admit, even when it's true. But it really seems to be true for me. It's not merely that my 11 year old and I, on a daily basis, remember a completely different version of events from as little as a few hours before. (Of course, since she is 11, I blame this entirely on her memory problems. She blames it on mine. By the time she is 13, we will probably both be certain the other is a complete idiot. I secretly suspect she has already decided this about me anyway.)
But it's more than that. It seems to be that I have an unusually developed ability to forget -- and I mean utterly, obliviously forget -- radically large portions of my reality if they relate to what you might call "esoteria" or "metaphysics" or anything like that.
If I were as in-denial-forgetful of any other subject the way I am spiritual and psychic stuff, I wouldn't just lose my car keys regularly, I would forget I had a car. And opposable thumbs. I mean it's ridiculous.
*0*
13Aug07. Archetype b4 session didn't have time to be much of anything as I rushed into it. But I found myself intrigued by the session itself, not so much the data as the feel. I got the third experience of "graphic design data" I've had. I've got to post on this, probably on the firedocs blog when I get time. I had a specific "graphic design" feel, of an "icon", with a very specific shape. The feeling inside for this kind of data is very subtle yet highly specific. It feels like super clear-cut crystal edges, high resolution, high contrast between two colors, very careful effort. It feels like a "logo" that "represents" the target.
The first two times I experienced this, the shape was incredibly clear in my mind, as it was only 4-5 combined lines. I had the feeling I had seen it before--and yet hadn't, like some kind of pre-deja-vu. Both times, the shape so dead-on nailed the summarized shape/dynamic of the target (if I could ARV like that even half the time I'd be rich) it was stunning. So I was pretty excited to run into that feeling again.
Except this time, the feeling got a lot more complicated. (Leave it to RV! The minute you know something well, it changes and increases complexity.) This time, the shape was actually something that I thought I might have seen before: a firebird. Or rather, the symbolic iconic representation of a phoenix, except using a ton of separate little shapes to create a sort of graphic mosaic. The shapes were like elongated thinned ovals, pointy at both ends, and the ones at the outside of the wing areas curved upward. After that I got another graphic-like sense; a cylinder that had interlocking elongated triangles of opposite colors, so that the effect was like claws wrapped around something. Then i saw, but didn'mt record (I thought I was inventing it, truly), a guy with a bird-head like in the Egyptian stuff. A couple data points later, I saw a key sitting on a big square block/cube of something. I picked it up and a door appeared in the sky. I reached up and unlocked the door, and it opened, and a big bird -- like the phoenix -- flew out and into my world and then away before I could see anything more.
Not surprisingly, at this point I started to seriously AOL that the target might have something to do with a bird.
Fortunately my data then ceased to have anything to do with that. I had a funky shape, and a sense of "open space/nothingness" between/under it, and yet at the same time, the sense of "a face" being there, as well. I saw a big cliff, like a plateau with a dropoff. Then I saw the plateau with a deep channel carved into it, like out of the rock, narrow at the top but then ballooning into a big area underneath. It seemed to go quite a distance back. Then I got a couple data points pretty specific to "the sun" or some symbol of it. My initial data in the section was all 'artistic' and something 'carved'. Not long in I said, "...a beautiful (manmade?) object, using shapes and contrasts." Yet somehow I managed to miss entirely the whole carving concept. Ended the session.
The target turned out to be the sphinx. An old pic of it, before today's modern commercialism, when there is just the sphinx, with its severely mutilated head, and a pyramid in the background. As if to further my ire about not doing nearly as well as I thought I should have on the target, a viewer named teacup promptly did the same target in the galleries on the same day I think it was, and did a better job. That is just SO not fair.
I have no idea what the phoenix symbolism represents. Aside from it, like the Sphinx, being a mythical creature. (Once in a dream I watched these unusually tall people 'creating' the sphinx--like giving it life or something. I didn't see how this could be possible but they indicated that if my bone could have consciousness, why not its stone? They also indicated that they were making it a mate, somewhere far away. I later heard it's a "legend" that there was another sphinx on the other side of the planet. Who knows.)
I sat there still woven with the target arch, IG with us, looking at the data and the picture trying to grok the connection between these things. I just don't get it. So maybe that is just off-target. But I'm surprised, given how insanely on target (in the most succinct way) the previous 'graphic design' data sessions were. I know that nothing is dependable but I do find that HOW data comes through often seems to have more correlation with its accuracy than any other recognizeable quantity or quality in a session. Oh well. That I missed the repeated references to design carving, and then to the cliff/plateau and carving into the cliff, and didn't put that together is doh!-material.
15Aug07. Again I rushed through the archmed, forgetting all my glorious plans about this. The data combined for the session covered a few areas:
* A repeated sense of looking down on something, of there being an "up high" (VERY high) place, and then a "down low" place, and the people up high were mercenary and the people down low were totally oblivious to them and/or the fact that they were
* Something elevated, in motion, and that "flies a distance away" being a major part of the target
* I "felt", "thick, numb, hovering" when at the target
* A sense of banks, money, power
When I asked what would seem most important on feedback I got, "That something split open to show the darkness inside." That seemed kind of odd.
When I asked for anything the target would like to share as last words it said, "The people and things below are so removed from us, and so unimportant. We are the powerful ones."
Seriously, I was starting to AOL on aliens on the moon or something just as I was ending the session.
The target was Astronaut Bruce McCandless from the Feb '84 NASA pic of him in the "rocket chair" flying around, with the earth seen far below.
Okaaaaaaaaaaaay.... I dunno what to make of that one either. I guess all the emotional components of that must have been off-target, unless there is a lot more to the space program, world banks, and potentially aliens, than I have any idea. Moving on!
Did I mention that I haven't viewed in awhile. I always totally suck when I re-begin so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
16Aug07. The archetype was odd and had "empty eyes". But archs usually have zip to do with the actual target and I get horrible AOL if I assume they do, so I ignored that. I hated the session. I felt yucky all through it. I felt that sense of "I hate this environment. Everything about this just disgusts me." that I sometimes get for really trashy, violent, depressing ghetto environments. All the data was about a structure and maybe vehicles. The target, although those were at the periphery, was focused on a dead Korean war US POW, his corpse lying on the side of the dirt road.
I felt badly for not making better contact. Seems sure to me that this target might want to share something of itself. I will get it again eventually as it's in my envelope pool twice, everything is, and I still have hundreds left to wade through in that. I spent some time with the target (still woven together) and IG after, working on understanding why I didn't get the target in my data, as it seemed I had avoided it. I've had lots of dead everything before and not avoided it, so I don't think it is any issue with death as data. Even my after-FB attempt to 'get rapport' with the target was interfered with by my emotional reaction of dislike, anger and disgust. Oh well.
16Aug07. Archmed was so fast I don't remember anything. I gotta quit that. Initial data was "frenzied, frenetic, ultra energetic" and I couldn't do ideograms because everytime I did one, my whole body abreacted as if I were trying to leap off where I was sitting. Then I got four big parallel thick-lines, "parallel components" I called them, manmade structure. That's the end of target contact. The rest had nothing to do with the target... it was physical data, I just can't figure out how it could relate so I assume it doesn't. The target was a scaffolding from 1960 that had about 125 people at the Indianapolis 500 and it collapsed, falling forward, and killed a bunch. Looked like a giant industrial shelving unit so I guess the parallel thing was ok data. Still. Session on the whole sucked. Wasn't very long.
18Aug07. I didn't write down anything on the archmed. Need to start doing that, prior to session. The session had an elevated rounded thing, with letters or something around the front, AOL marquee, which was in the target so that's fine. I believe I got the general location (water, shore, city, sky, focus is the city) ok. A big circle with a thick border which fairly well describes the shape in the picture so that is ok too (this is diff than the circle in the other direction that was the marquee). Had a nifty "mini-movie" but as is not unusual there was zero way to tell if any of it had anything to do with the target--anyway, it didn't relate to the focus, which is what matters. Alas, humidity re-sealed a used target envelope, so I had no target. Fine, I said, I'll just get one for this session; no big deal to me, but it took me four envelopes to find one with a picture for feedback. I consider that a somewhat blown protocol as a result.
20Aug07. Archmed was super brief. Arch distinguished himself though. Every few seconds he'd break out in a little dance, looking at me, like he was teasing me, teasing about being 'on display' as my target. It actually made me giggle. I ended up feeling much loving about it before the session. Which, by the way, had not a single thing to do with the target in my opinion (I'd have to call on symbology VERY heavily to come up with anything), which was Jesus. No, I did not task myself this. The new Taskerbot lets TANDEM viewing be done out of someone's tbot Grab Bag as well as practice, and that one belonged to the other viewer. I am not fond of that target at all. I've had esoteric experiences with that identity that were mind blowing but so far in RV that's twice I've missed that target entirely.
Sucking at RV is so demoralizing. Everytime I start getting pretty good at it, I end up dropping it abruptly. That isn't coincidence, I know.
Knowing doesn't help though.
It's one of those things where, had I been blogging, I would have had probably 50 things I could have blogged about, but now somehow I have none. Because it would be like making a big deal of just little things.
So as a way of kind of getting back into occasional blogging again, I thought I would just clean out the recent file drawer so to speak. Which is not all that exciting. But I notice when I go back and read my blogs that what happens on day 10 is often related to what came before, for example. So whatever happened the last week or less is probably going to have some effect on what happens this and next week. So I might as well get it down on virtual paper.
*0*
Alrighty then. First on the front: Archetype meditations for remote viewing.
Now the most interesting thing about this lately is my realization yesterday, when I went back and read this blog's few entries, that I had completely forgotten just about everything. I mean literally forgotten. Like all the previous experiences on this blog including my 3-stage approach to using archs in viewing, simply never existed.
I noticed about a dozen years ago, for the first time, that my personal version of reality was, at best, unusually creative. This is not something most people admit, even when it's true. But it really seems to be true for me. It's not merely that my 11 year old and I, on a daily basis, remember a completely different version of events from as little as a few hours before. (Of course, since she is 11, I blame this entirely on her memory problems. She blames it on mine. By the time she is 13, we will probably both be certain the other is a complete idiot. I secretly suspect she has already decided this about me anyway.)
But it's more than that. It seems to be that I have an unusually developed ability to forget -- and I mean utterly, obliviously forget -- radically large portions of my reality if they relate to what you might call "esoteria" or "metaphysics" or anything like that.
If I were as in-denial-forgetful of any other subject the way I am spiritual and psychic stuff, I wouldn't just lose my car keys regularly, I would forget I had a car. And opposable thumbs. I mean it's ridiculous.
*0*
13Aug07. Archetype b4 session didn't have time to be much of anything as I rushed into it. But I found myself intrigued by the session itself, not so much the data as the feel. I got the third experience of "graphic design data" I've had. I've got to post on this, probably on the firedocs blog when I get time. I had a specific "graphic design" feel, of an "icon", with a very specific shape. The feeling inside for this kind of data is very subtle yet highly specific. It feels like super clear-cut crystal edges, high resolution, high contrast between two colors, very careful effort. It feels like a "logo" that "represents" the target.
The first two times I experienced this, the shape was incredibly clear in my mind, as it was only 4-5 combined lines. I had the feeling I had seen it before--and yet hadn't, like some kind of pre-deja-vu. Both times, the shape so dead-on nailed the summarized shape/dynamic of the target (if I could ARV like that even half the time I'd be rich) it was stunning. So I was pretty excited to run into that feeling again.
Except this time, the feeling got a lot more complicated. (Leave it to RV! The minute you know something well, it changes and increases complexity.) This time, the shape was actually something that I thought I might have seen before: a firebird. Or rather, the symbolic iconic representation of a phoenix, except using a ton of separate little shapes to create a sort of graphic mosaic. The shapes were like elongated thinned ovals, pointy at both ends, and the ones at the outside of the wing areas curved upward. After that I got another graphic-like sense; a cylinder that had interlocking elongated triangles of opposite colors, so that the effect was like claws wrapped around something. Then i saw, but didn'mt record (I thought I was inventing it, truly), a guy with a bird-head like in the Egyptian stuff. A couple data points later, I saw a key sitting on a big square block/cube of something. I picked it up and a door appeared in the sky. I reached up and unlocked the door, and it opened, and a big bird -- like the phoenix -- flew out and into my world and then away before I could see anything more.
Not surprisingly, at this point I started to seriously AOL that the target might have something to do with a bird.
Fortunately my data then ceased to have anything to do with that. I had a funky shape, and a sense of "open space/nothingness" between/under it, and yet at the same time, the sense of "a face" being there, as well. I saw a big cliff, like a plateau with a dropoff. Then I saw the plateau with a deep channel carved into it, like out of the rock, narrow at the top but then ballooning into a big area underneath. It seemed to go quite a distance back. Then I got a couple data points pretty specific to "the sun" or some symbol of it. My initial data in the section was all 'artistic' and something 'carved'. Not long in I said, "...a beautiful (manmade?) object, using shapes and contrasts." Yet somehow I managed to miss entirely the whole carving concept. Ended the session.
The target turned out to be the sphinx. An old pic of it, before today's modern commercialism, when there is just the sphinx, with its severely mutilated head, and a pyramid in the background. As if to further my ire about not doing nearly as well as I thought I should have on the target, a viewer named teacup promptly did the same target in the galleries on the same day I think it was, and did a better job. That is just SO not fair.
I have no idea what the phoenix symbolism represents. Aside from it, like the Sphinx, being a mythical creature. (Once in a dream I watched these unusually tall people 'creating' the sphinx--like giving it life or something. I didn't see how this could be possible but they indicated that if my bone could have consciousness, why not its stone? They also indicated that they were making it a mate, somewhere far away. I later heard it's a "legend" that there was another sphinx on the other side of the planet. Who knows.)
I sat there still woven with the target arch, IG with us, looking at the data and the picture trying to grok the connection between these things. I just don't get it. So maybe that is just off-target. But I'm surprised, given how insanely on target (in the most succinct way) the previous 'graphic design' data sessions were. I know that nothing is dependable but I do find that HOW data comes through often seems to have more correlation with its accuracy than any other recognizeable quantity or quality in a session. Oh well. That I missed the repeated references to design carving, and then to the cliff/plateau and carving into the cliff, and didn't put that together is doh!-material.
15Aug07. Again I rushed through the archmed, forgetting all my glorious plans about this. The data combined for the session covered a few areas:
* A repeated sense of looking down on something, of there being an "up high" (VERY high) place, and then a "down low" place, and the people up high were mercenary and the people down low were totally oblivious to them and/or the fact that they were
* Something elevated, in motion, and that "flies a distance away" being a major part of the target
* I "felt", "thick, numb, hovering" when at the target
* A sense of banks, money, power
When I asked what would seem most important on feedback I got, "That something split open to show the darkness inside." That seemed kind of odd.
When I asked for anything the target would like to share as last words it said, "The people and things below are so removed from us, and so unimportant. We are the powerful ones."
Seriously, I was starting to AOL on aliens on the moon or something just as I was ending the session.
The target was Astronaut Bruce McCandless from the Feb '84 NASA pic of him in the "rocket chair" flying around, with the earth seen far below.
Okaaaaaaaaaaaay.... I dunno what to make of that one either. I guess all the emotional components of that must have been off-target, unless there is a lot more to the space program, world banks, and potentially aliens, than I have any idea. Moving on!
Did I mention that I haven't viewed in awhile. I always totally suck when I re-begin so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
16Aug07. The archetype was odd and had "empty eyes". But archs usually have zip to do with the actual target and I get horrible AOL if I assume they do, so I ignored that. I hated the session. I felt yucky all through it. I felt that sense of "I hate this environment. Everything about this just disgusts me." that I sometimes get for really trashy, violent, depressing ghetto environments. All the data was about a structure and maybe vehicles. The target, although those were at the periphery, was focused on a dead Korean war US POW, his corpse lying on the side of the dirt road.
I felt badly for not making better contact. Seems sure to me that this target might want to share something of itself. I will get it again eventually as it's in my envelope pool twice, everything is, and I still have hundreds left to wade through in that. I spent some time with the target (still woven together) and IG after, working on understanding why I didn't get the target in my data, as it seemed I had avoided it. I've had lots of dead everything before and not avoided it, so I don't think it is any issue with death as data. Even my after-FB attempt to 'get rapport' with the target was interfered with by my emotional reaction of dislike, anger and disgust. Oh well.
16Aug07. Archmed was so fast I don't remember anything. I gotta quit that. Initial data was "frenzied, frenetic, ultra energetic" and I couldn't do ideograms because everytime I did one, my whole body abreacted as if I were trying to leap off where I was sitting. Then I got four big parallel thick-lines, "parallel components" I called them, manmade structure. That's the end of target contact. The rest had nothing to do with the target... it was physical data, I just can't figure out how it could relate so I assume it doesn't. The target was a scaffolding from 1960 that had about 125 people at the Indianapolis 500 and it collapsed, falling forward, and killed a bunch. Looked like a giant industrial shelving unit so I guess the parallel thing was ok data. Still. Session on the whole sucked. Wasn't very long.
18Aug07. I didn't write down anything on the archmed. Need to start doing that, prior to session. The session had an elevated rounded thing, with letters or something around the front, AOL marquee, which was in the target so that's fine. I believe I got the general location (water, shore, city, sky, focus is the city) ok. A big circle with a thick border which fairly well describes the shape in the picture so that is ok too (this is diff than the circle in the other direction that was the marquee). Had a nifty "mini-movie" but as is not unusual there was zero way to tell if any of it had anything to do with the target--anyway, it didn't relate to the focus, which is what matters. Alas, humidity re-sealed a used target envelope, so I had no target. Fine, I said, I'll just get one for this session; no big deal to me, but it took me four envelopes to find one with a picture for feedback. I consider that a somewhat blown protocol as a result.
20Aug07. Archmed was super brief. Arch distinguished himself though. Every few seconds he'd break out in a little dance, looking at me, like he was teasing me, teasing about being 'on display' as my target. It actually made me giggle. I ended up feeling much loving about it before the session. Which, by the way, had not a single thing to do with the target in my opinion (I'd have to call on symbology VERY heavily to come up with anything), which was Jesus. No, I did not task myself this. The new Taskerbot lets TANDEM viewing be done out of someone's tbot Grab Bag as well as practice, and that one belonged to the other viewer. I am not fond of that target at all. I've had esoteric experiences with that identity that were mind blowing but so far in RV that's twice I've missed that target entirely.
Sucking at RV is so demoralizing. Everytime I start getting pretty good at it, I end up dropping it abruptly. That isn't coincidence, I know.
Knowing doesn't help though.
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