Maybe the only thing consistent about my archmeds over the years is that the bigger the problem, the harder it is to get around to doing them at all; and if I do them, the harder it is to perceive them at all; and if I perceive them, the harder it is to merge with them; the more likely it is that it will take multiple meditations over time to get there.
It just occurred to me that I am not merely working with "problematic issues" the last couple days. I am working with my BIIIIIIG-est problem. Of all the millions of possible problems, issues, archetypes, etc. that I could be dealing with, I chose the BIGgest problem. Of course.
So it's almost moronic for me to expect that they are going to be easy, go super well, and result in a great rushing merge. It is frankly almost miraculous that I got around to doing them at all, that I could perceive them at all, and that it went as well as it has, and that I've had even the barely-noticed merge from a couple. I should be amazed and glad, not bitching about my incompetence.
If I had a brain, I'd be dangerous.
Ok, back to work now...
PJ
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