Abreactions in Archetype Meditation and Remote Viewing

In hypnosis, an 'abreaction' is what I was taught to call the spontaneous muscle spasm jerks that the subject (person being hypnotized) sometimes would display -- these can be anywhere in the body, but usually occur solar plexus or lower. The idea is that when this happened, it was a subconscious "rejection" of the information that was being processed at that moment. You've heard the slang phrase "a knee-jerk reaction" -- yes. Basically that sums it up.

In psychology official, abreaction is "the release of emotional tension achieved through recalling a repressed traumatic experience." Its definition indirectly or directly implies that this recall is via 'words, behavior, or imagination'. Nowhere does it suggest that "spontaneous muscle spasms" qualify for the term, though I suppose they do. For whatever reason, the MDs and PhDs that ran one of the places where I studied hypnosis used that term for that effect.

Abreactions were not uncommon, in fact they were pretty much the norm. Where, how often, how extreme, etc. they might be depended not just on the person but on the subject matter, and I assumed, the degree of belief system issues they were having with absorbing suggestions directly. If one line of suggestion was meeting regular abreactions, the result wasn't likely to be good; best to take a different tact.

At one point, I started studying people around me whom I was not hypnotizing, and came to the interesting conclusion that perhaps many people abreact quite a lot in fact. But it's such a small thing, few of us even notice it. We haven't been trained to do so, to pay attention to that kind of thing, to have any idea it might mean something. So in a way, our body is constantly talking to us, we just don't hear it.

Of course, muscle spasms do also happen for musculature reasons that are not necessarily related to any deep psychological meaning. Sometimes a muscle is just a muscle, you might say.

Just to be clear, I am NOT talking about major, charley-horse type spasms. Those issues can be caused by low magnesium/potassium/calcium. This is something I know too much about, as every time you shift suddenly to low-carb eating, you drop all the artificial 'bloating' your body holds in order to process carbs. The sudden drop in water/glycol bloat washes out a lot of those minerals temporarily and if you are not supplementing with them, 'charley horse' spasms in legs/feet for a short time are not uncommon. That is not the kind of muscle spasm I am talking about.

The kind I'm talking about range from barely perceptible even when you're looking for them, to a major "jerk" of the whole body. They range from a 'twitch' you don't notice to such a wild spasm that you forget literally everything in your head at that moment.

o0o

In archetype meditations I have often run into abreactions. The most difficult meditations I've ever done have always been accompanied by plenty of abreactions -- often instantly when a certain idea, image or concept comes up. Here's a few quotes from old blog posts here to give some real examples of how this comes about. I admit I don't usually make a note of it except in the more extreme cases, but it's not an uncommon thing in more minor degree.

Adjustment, Take II
The moment I arrived and took IG's hands--already my mind trying to escape--and begged her to help hold my attention there, I began abreacting. Muscle spasms went crazy. [...] Every few seconds I would abreact somewhere. It is very obvious I have a severe problem with this archetype but I can't really figure out why. [...] My mind wandered. I held my mind fiercely and my body spasmed so intensely I forgot who the hell I was for a moment. But I began again. And again. And again. And...

A Heavy Issue, Take I
I looked over at the playing cards moving around in the air beside us. I tried to 'see' one clearly. I had a flash of something..
Me: Wands.
My right leg spasmed violently.
I closed my eyes and waited, like in RV, for the next data point.
Me: Red. Feet? Seems like feet or print of feet, but also red.
Both of my legs spasmed more violently.
Me: Horse? I think.
My entire body spasmed wildly.
Me: For godssakes! And won't THAT meditation be fun I bet...

A Heavy Issue, Take I
I thought that sudden memory was IG giving me an answer. So I said, "OK, I want to meditate on "my problem with extra bodyfat" now."
I sneezed violently.
I said dryly to IG, "Well that's gonna be quite the meditation I bet." IG seemed amused, in a good way, the first time I've got that sense from her.

Knock Knock, Neo
I'm having a lot of abreactions still. And I'm starting to forget stuff almost immediately after doing it, which makes blogging it even more important I guess. I must be working on stuff heavier duty than I realize. [...] I said to him, "I'm having constant abreactions but only in my right leg. The calf, the knee and thigh. None anywhere else. Why is it that I am reacting here to you?" And the arch said, "Why don't you do a meditation on the archetype of your right leg." I was dumbfounded. I never thought of meditating on a body part. And yet if our body is manifest energy, and a core part of us, and our memory and so on is throughout our body, then surely every part of the body is a primal part of us. Surely every part of our body has a great deal of symbolic and literal meaning.

Most interesting to me, as it is not the only time this has happened to me -- is this one:

Arch-Dreams and Chaos
I started abreacting. I would have a thought or start an arch-dream and my body would jerk violently in one place or another, mostly lower body. I could literally feel it this time, as if energy-which-is-also-information were trying to run through my nervous system, but blocks were "shunting it off" with muscle spams. It got more severe. At one point, I found myself in this arch-dream and I went, "Hey! Hey, I remember this now! This is where I was last night! This--" and an abreaction so severe that my entire body spasmed wildly hit me. I forgot everything except that last thought. But at least it made me realize that I didn't just pass out in the middle of a thought last night; I was doing "something", I just don't remember what.

So I re-read that last clip above not long ago and I thought, Hey wait a minute. That's a big neon sign, isn't it?! This is exactly what I should be meditating on -- ask IG for "whatever that is". If it is so severe that it knocks you unconscious when you're meditating yet wide awake, that it later gives you such severe abreaction you forget everything in your head related to it instantly, then this is definitely something that needs attention.

But I felt fear the moment that concept hit me. I could feel it in my torso, from my solar plexus down to my groin, like a meta-physical "ghost-feeling" energy of sorts. Which tells me that yes -- definitely I need to meditate on this. But more importantly it also tells me that this -- this fear, this passing out -- I see it as a symptom 'related to' the severe bodily-abreaction. Which sort of corresponds with what I have "intuitively felt" when having abreactions before, many times in fact -- that it is a "shunting off", from the nervous system I believe, of the 'energy', basically "not allowing" it to be processed through the body -- and, I have a couple of times 'sensed', that it is literally traveling through the body and up to (or returning to) the 'brain' area but it's never making it that far; the body is kicking it off the path before it can get there. So the mind cannot 'think' about it because 'the thought never reaches you' you might say. You could call it denial but this is happening at a body/subconscious level before that energy/info ever has the chance to even make it into your processing mind.

To a vastly lesser degree -- but still worth noting -- I sometimes abreact in Remote Viewing sessions as well. I seem to do it more when dehydrated. I seem to do a lot more when there is a great deal of trauma in the target, in fact, if I'm doing a target and abreacting all over the place I know it's going to be a 'mass trauma' target (eg a photo of the immediate aftermath of -- while still pulling survivors and bloody victims out of rubble -- some massive disaster, e.g. a major earthquake). When people are dead already, or when it's just something explosive, or when it's long after or before the disaster or not with a focus on humans, I don't get it so much. But when there is a mass number of humans in great drama/trauma/death all at once in a target, I am likely to either bluescreen the entire negative or have a terrible problem with abreactions (and getting data at all, as a result, since my body is throwing most of it off the line!) during session.

I know this is boring (my readers are already snoring) but I think this is important.

It's important to RV because if abreacting does indicate a rejection of energy/information, it would matter to figure out how to work on that after or during the experience, to try and clear that out.

It's important to meditation because if we learn to notice such things about our bodies, we learn more about ourselves. This ties into a recent thing too. Not long ago I blogged:

Body Talk
...during the meditation I had a sudden 'twinge' in my left foot. Of course when you meditate you get all kinds of distracting body sensations, little pains, etc. But because I was at that moment pouring energy into an archetype (to no particular effect), without thinking much about it, I shifted and for a few moments, was pouring the same kind of energy-intent into my foot where it had the painful little twinge. And I got a *major* rush, body-wide. I was astonished. It made me realize that when we are meditating on something, body stuff isn't just a 'distraction' -- it's energy acting-out, it's communication or at least warning sparks -- and THAT is exactly where to focus. I mean, that's what pain is about: saying, "pay attention to me!" And all this time I've been taking this no-mind meditation approach toward it -- rather than the active-meditation format I actually use -- I'd been working to ignore that kind of thing. Once I realized that my body could talk to me and that energy with my body was as much a part of the meditation as the other things, that seemed to come and go for awhile, as if my body was as delighted as I was that I had learned a few simple words of its language.

It isn't just abreactions. It's any 'body response'. It's like we are meditating and we want to talk with our subconscious, and our body IS our subconscious in manifest form, and every time it says something to us we go, "Shut up. I'm ignoring you because I'm meditating to talk to my subconscious." Sheesh!

I guess it just seems to me that paying more attention to things like abreactions and sudden pains etc., may be a great deal more important than I have previously considered. Maybe when I get a serious abreaction I should actually meditate ON the abreaction.

Previously when talking with IG about remote viewing and inaccurate data, she suggested that I work directly with the problem data (after feedback) to clear/straighten out that energy in myself. We shared a kind of visualization of these vertically suspended 'strings of energy' that had bends, stiffness, knots, frays, etc. (this representing, literally or figuratively, energy-issues with certain data) and basically rejuvenating all those strings so they would be clean, supple, strong strings of light. And then that this could be done pretty quickly, en-masse, and I imagined them all together in a group over a star-trek style transporter pad, and the energy just going through them at the quantum level and reorganizing them cleanly according to their true pattern and getting rid of interference etc. I've wondered if one could do this before feedback or even before the session--if we can psychically know the target, why could we not know what data points we're going to have issues with?--and if that might help as a process ritual to 'clear out' energetic problems ahead of time.

Well along the same lines, maybe I should be doing that kind of "reality med" -- what I call very brief shape-visualization-based meditations -- on every serious abreaction, pain, itch, etc. that I might get during meditation or remote viewing.

If nothing else I am going to make a point to pay a lot more attention to this now, and to 'allow' my body to use this as a kind of communication. Maybe 'itch on my left foot' is like a task number, a 'directive' to pay attention to that energy (whatever it might be) at least for a moment. Maybe abreactions are just a big arrow to what we resist, refuse, etc. and great strides could be made by specifically meditating on the parts of our body that abreact, hurt, etc.

PJ
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Drifting

I feel like I'm just a drifter lately. Not focused. Relaxing, half asleep, floating on the current of life. Not proactive, not even reactive, just sprawled out in weightlessness, freed from the gravity of my normal life. I have so many self-created 'obligations' to helping other people, doing free projects online, etc. that for years it has felt like I literally am 'working' (paid or not) every minute of the day, and when I wasn't doing that, I was feeling guilty about not doing it. Lately I haven't been feeling much of anything about anything. Which sounds depressive, but really it's just a relief.

I've taken up watching shows on hulu.com. I loved the Dresden files. And Firefly. And a variety of other things. I'm generally a SCIFI/FAN/ACTION sort, if that's a clue to taste. I used to think that no decently intelligent TV shows got made for the most part. It turns out, they do get made. They just don't last for more than 6-13 episodes is all and I never saw them. Hulu has rescued a lot of great shows from obscurity, leaving fans like me grieving that it was over before we ever even ran into it.

I did a meditation the other night. OK nearly a week ago. IG brought Ray back. It's a male human guide. (I was thinking maybe the name might be like ray-of-light and might be something unusual, but I guess not.) Of course, despite a meditation and then a dream with Ray, I remember approximately nothing about him. This hardly seems like coincidence, given how effectively he fell out of my head the first time. Oh brother.

I used my Procyon again the other day. I haven't used this very often and want to get back to that. It's a light-sound machine that pulses sound and colored LED's at beat-intervals designed to create a frequency following response in the brain that puts you in a given state of mind. I've had some insomnia issues and putting on some delta does seem pretty effective at knocking me out. Although in fairness if I am sleepy at all even an alpha program will do that.

The guy who runs the company I bought my unit from worked for some time on Vista 64 drivers so I could do the custom programming for it. I haven't tried them yet (just got them a couple weeks ago) but want to try that. I like the idea of combining a verbal walk-through of say, an archetype meditation, with the cool music stuff I got ('looping' synth tracks), with custom beat patterns both sonic and photic, to see the end result. Although it seems like this is the kind of thing you could get into and still be experimenting 60 years later. Knowing me I won't be happy until my brain is jello.

I've been experimenting a little now and then with a tantric redirection of sexual energy toward the aeons around me (the guides), sort of putting energy into them/our connection. It's a hard temptation (as the most pleasure is letting it spill out at random of course) but seems to work, insofar as directing the energy to them seems to vaporize it -- which I assume means the 're-routing' is effective. Have only tried it a few times and haven't yet done it while "in" a meditation (normally I've done this as part of an advanced archetype meditation and a rather highly 'personal' relationship with the arch) so I'm not sure yet of any real result.

Temporarily (I hope) I've completely lost traction on my 14 year remote viewing obsession. I mean at the moment it's like the whole topic could evaporate and I wouldn't even care. I assume it's just burnout on a variety of related things and that will pass. Always seems to. It feels like a good thing though. Like I had too much 'attachment' to it, in the Eastern sense, and I am releasing that, and letting it be-what-it-is-for-me without a lot of other conditions.

I tried my pressure cooker for the first time the other day. It did manage to turn stew meat, that would normally take a solid 6-8 hours in the crockpot to get soft, into the same texture and good taste in 15 minutes. (And 20 minutes of gradual depressurizing.) I'm going to have to start using that more and experimenting. Since I eat lowcarb (mostly meat) and cheaper cuts taste good but are tougher, anything that speeds up cooking time/trouble dramatically is a good thing. I think my next experiment in it might be pork carnitas.

I'm hoping to do a little meditating this weekend, if I can pull myself away from Hulu that is. I'm turning into a couch--well, laptop--potato. But I'm running out of shows I like well enough to sit through, bummer! Anyway I'm planning to do a brief alpha session with the procyon and then do some Tower/IG/Arch/Guide work. Hope to have something useful enough to post on before it's over.

PJ
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Ray

I've mentioned a few times that one reason I blog my experiences, and as soon as possible, is because I forget them otherwise. No, let me be more precise; I forget them either way. But this way, I can re-read my blog and be reminded of them. I often have to read this stuff half a dozen times before it stops "falling out of my head" and I can easily remember it.

I actually think this is a serious issue in shamanistic-type paths that is seldom addressed. (Maybe people forget to address it. Haha. Or maybe it's just embarrassing.) Our reality is defined by what we accept and pay attention to. Obviously, the things which most challenge the definition of our reality, and of our identity, are the most difficult to deal with, and will have the most denial and evasion present.

For me, the Aeons (guides) (yes I still think the 'aeons' term as a noun for those identities is a bizarre one, but it returned so often when wondering how to define them I've decided to go with it and trust that a better understanding of 'why' will eventually arrive. Although in case I didn't mention it, part of the info was that they are not just a span of energy but a span of both space and time as well. It's really very weird.), and archetypes, they threaten my current "sense of identity" and "belief system" constantly.

Some things, by their nature, will not stay. The Private Oracle stuff, that literally fell out of my brain within 20 seconds, although he did explain why, and what I had to do to prevent that. I simply must do that kind of communication while sitting at my computer so I can record it on the fly. Most things, though, are ok at the time -- but I need to record it within a day or I lose a large % of it, and if I don't get it recorded within a few days it's gone.

Today I opened up this 'meditation google spreadsheet' I have which lists the various stuff I would like to meditate upon. I realized that in my blog here, I had met a guide (the tall statue like guy whose name was haute-some-thing) and forgot to put him in the little diagram that shows 'where' they appear around me. He is behind me, behind Jared and El Nino.

But when I pulled it up, in the top right corner position, it had one I don't remember: it said: RAY.

Somewhere between April 26 when I first made that chart, and a couple months ago, I apparently met an aeon/guide named 'Ray' and he was in that position so I recorded him there. Or her. Or it. But I didn't write it down, at least, I can't find any trace of it in this blog, or in my email.

So it's gone to me. I will ask IG to bring Ray back and introduce me again and perhaps I will remember something, who knows. All I know for now is that once again (it's happened before) I have done a meditation or had some spontaneous experience, failed to write it down promptly, and it fell out of my mind as if it had never even happened.

That's weird don't you think.

You know this reminds me of something from years ago. I was walking through a street faire in the city I grew up in (Ventura CA). I hate crowded events and was pushing my way through the crowd, not really thinking about anything. I happened to come right up face to face with a woman in the process who gasped out loud on seeing me, jaw dropping, and exclaimed in a half-whisper, "You're a walk-in!" as if that was something amazing. I had no idea what she was talking about. The only place I'd even heard that term was when you don't make an appointment at a hair salon. I decided she couldn't possibly be talking to me (no matter that she seemed to be) because it just didn't really make sense to me and by the time I was recovering from the surprise of it we had already passed each other in the crowd.

Some time later, probably a few years I'm not sure, I was in a big inside shopping Mall in Oxnard CA. I was walking down the tiles toward a store when I happened to see a very well-dressed woman (maybe late 30s) in a business-like suit on the other side of the aisleway, walking the other direction, toward me. I wouldn't have noticed her except that she looked at me and then did a sort of double-take, and then totally detoured across the mall toward me. It was obvious she was going to say something to me long before she got there, and we both stopped when she reached me. She said quietly to me, "Do you know that you're a walk-in?" and I just looked at her blankly. I knew a meaning for the term then. I'd read this book by Lobsang Rampa my step-grandma had given me and talked with her about it, it was this far-out thing where allegedly someone's soul, rather than dying, jumps hosts (bodies) and lets someone else die but takes their body so they can stay in this timeline. At that moment, I couldn't even imagine what on earth such a thing could have to do with me. But the oddity is the weird way I reacted. I just walked away. I mean, it was rude of me, and I should have said something, or asked what she meant or why she would say that, wouldn't you think. But I didn't. I walked away and I kid you not, within a few steps I could completely forgotten it EVER happened.

I remembered years later, when I 'woke up' and realized I didn't start in this body -- a truly horrible realization, akin to BladeRunner's girl discovering her whole childhood was a lie and she didn't really have parents, she was really just AI not human. Then, I suddenly remembered both of those events which had fallen completely out of my brain until that moment, and I observed how odd my reaction was, especially to the second event. It seemed clear to me that I was simply not ready to know that, to deal with that, and so was in complete denial about it, so I couldn't hold the memory.

I had a ton of experiences that were 'anomalies' over the years, things some would consider related to 'aliens and entities', though different people might class them differently (in UFOlogy or Spiritual Warfare or Mind Control or god-only-knows what else). Many times, I had a certain genre of experience repeatedly, but it always just fell out of my head. Then eventually when I was able to consciously focus on and 'accept' a given thing that made it ok and possible to me, it was like a 'tag/label update' on all the database entries that related to that, and all the sudden I had a whole group of memories that I had never been able to recall before and never "correlated together" before. What this meant in practice was that I would have an experience that seemed novel, but once I fully 'integrated' it, I would realize that I'd had many such experiences for years.

It had the disconcerting effect of making me feel like I really didn't know a damn thing about myself OR my life, that so much of it had been "under the radar" for me.

Me, the logical, rational one, the skeptical one. And it turns out there was nothing logical or rational about me, only an impressive ability to ignore half my experiential universe so I could believe that I was logical and rational. Given the degree of fear (even panic) that I perceive on the part of many so-called skeptics (it wouldn't be such evangelism otherwise. They are 'scoffers' or 'pseudo-skeptics'. Real skeptics don't behave like that), I think this may be more common that we (as a culture) realize.

I hope I find Ray.

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Normalizing

I've been working on making my life just a little bit more normal. I don't mean "no longer a flaming weirdo" normal -- how could that possibly happen? -- I mean "allows more than 3 hours of sleep a night, doesn't work on something every waking instant, actually takes a little time for herself" kind of normal. I have managed this approximately two days in a row. This would be two days more than the last ten years or so, which means it must be a big deal to me.

As part of this, I instituted Martial Law in my household: also known as "lights-out bedtime". 10pm for the kid (who turns 13 tomorrow), 11pm for me. Ideally I'm in bed at 10 too but meditating or something... but worst-case, I must be by 10:30pm. If something is not done that should be done -- the story of my life! -- it is just going to have to wait until morning.

So the night before last I decided to do an archetype meditation on my job, certain aspects of it. That went ok. Not real exciting though at the end I did get a small rush. What was more interesting was that later, I was still awake but starting to doze, and I was going through a sort of chaotic spontaneous visualization sequence. At one point I found myself in the air above and out from something on a cliff wall, I wasn't sure what but it looked like a sort of balcony had been built into the cliff wall and there were people, maybe asians, standing on it. I zoomed down there in interest and flew over there and into the darkness of the cliff opening and the minute I went in, I had this HUGE body-rush, like a really good archmed. I've never had that happen from spontaneous stuff vs. meditating before.

Last night I decided to do an archetype meditation on today -- on getting various things worked out I needed to for Ry's birthday. I needed to renew my license; it took eons to get my certified birth certificate from another state so I could do so. 22 years ago I changed my name and I don't have any certified document for it which I figured they'd want, dang it. I was borrowing a car I'd never driven, a van no less, for the driving test. And they didn't even HAVE the book to study for the written test, how dumb is that ("we're almost always out of them" - the DMV!). I needed more time than my dad probably had in order to get to walmart and order her cake and get a few things... and I needed to work out the car rental and was so worried about money, wanting it to be ok, since I loaned some to my bleeping ex (kids' dad) who still has not repaid me two weeks after the promised time. Not sure how I could do it, it'll be like $100/day and paypal refuses to let me promptly transfer money from my bank to them (though they will let me promptly transfer it to anybody else. Go figure!) and I don't have enough in paypal for the car and they won't let you use a visa-debit, only a visa. So all in all I just wanted things to go well.

This morning, I remembered what Nero has shown me about believing with faith, about suspension of disbelief, about a specific WAY of thinking about things that actually assumes and accepts that there IS an answer/solution, and that it's nearly tip of the tongue, and it's totally obvious, and any-second-now it is going to become clear. It isn't merely that you are allowing for it; you're actually forcing the space for it and pressing on it to manifest, but not by wishing, not by hoping, not by fear, but by 'expectation'.

The archetype was Jayne. This is a character on the science fiction show "Firefly". He's actually a funny character; completely untrustworthy, oblivious and sexist and more, yet he is a mercenary and ridiculously tough and good with weapons, and often funny (usually by accident) and sometimes a little touching (like many men-boys are, even the worst ones). But the thing that got me is, I have NEVER had an archetype be anything, anybody, any character, that I knew! Never! I didn't even know that COULD happen, although once I pondered it I couldn't come up with any good reason why not.

I said, "Why would YOU be my arch??" and he said, something like (I don't remember exactly now) it had to do with the 'untrustworthy' element more than anything (me not trusting how the day would go) and I had just watched an episode of the show earlier so it was a good 'symbol'. Anyway, I was ridiculously unfocused, it took like 90 minutes to do what I should have done in like 8, and the merge at the end was very small.

But today, the DMV lady actually remembered me from 11 months ago, accepted my daughter's birth cert I happened to have in my wallet (for other reasons) as a secondary form of ID, solving that problem entirely. Then it turned out I did not have to do the driving test which solved the van problem. Then it turned out I did not have to do the written test, which solved that problem. Then because of those two points we had a lot more time, so I was able to go to walmart and order her cake and get some stuff, solving that problem. Then, the guy at the car rental place tells me it's way cheaper online and so I do that and it turns out they only have to charge the car against the visa, I called him and he said we could charge the insurance against my debit card, whew, perfect.

As if that isn't enough, on the way to do all this I was looking in my old (not used anymore) purse to see if I could find our social security cards, and I found a $500 check from a client from the end of April that I had never deposited! And it didn't have a 90 day expiration on it. I couldn't believe it! (He will git me for waiting this long, but oh well!)

I was just stunned at how well everything went. I can't prove the meditation helped, but it certainly didn't do any harm.

I have been meaning to outline a series of archmeds on body parts. I don't mean like my elbow, I mean like my liver, thyroid, amygdala gland, the nervous system, fat cells, etc. I've been reading endlessly on health stuff and I think it would be interesting to do a series like that.

Now that I am "normalizing" my schedule to allow at least one little meditation time per night, I think I might get back to more of it.

PJ
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