Archmed: Gaia and the Pyramid

This is a continuation of "IG and the Pagan Night" post.

I walked around the pyramid until I saw the dark spot on the ground some distance away that marked the doorway. I climbed down the ladder and went through the stone hallway underground and came up the ladder into the pyramid. I closed the floor-door and went to the middle of the floor and sat down and thought for awhile.

I thought about the sense of 'solitude and alone-ness' which in the first meditation seemed the primary impression it made on me. Maybe, I thought, the pyramid represents the body. It is a strong, powerful filter of defense against, well, everything. The whole point of our conglomerate consciousness merging symbiotically with the nature-creature of a human body is surely to experience the sense of being independent, alone, unique -- in short, "separate".

I thought, if I am here and I want to psychically perceive something over there, the pyramid can't take me. Can I bring whatever-it-is to me instead? Can I replicate a local version of that non-local energetic construct in the center, is that what I'm supposed to do? I imagined doing that. Didn't seem to work very well and didn't seem like the answer.

I remembered in my blog I'd said I had a real epiphany over the thought that "I was in the middle of something larger" but had no idea why, afterward. I thought about that idea for awhile. I still didn't get it though.

I did start to get a sense of push to merge with the target. I wondered if that was from IG. I let that flow, and felt rather as if my body were streeetttttching out to the four corners at the bottom, and so on all the way up, until my neck was at the very top. Then I flipped my head over so it felt like it was hanging down from the very top of the open-inside stepped pyramid, and I pondered all this, upside down in the open darkness.

I remembered writing that I felt I should do some of the visualizations that Nero had suggested to me. I couldn't really think of any good reason for this. But anything was worth a try. So I allowed my sense of merge to 'stay' while I refocused my 'sense-of-I-ness' down to the ground inside again and started to visualize. At first it was weak and tentative. A red open triangle of light. A white square, then a white or gold circle. I realized I couldn't really remember what Nero had suggested aside from the triangle; I was guessing at the others. I turned them slowly like he taught me, so I could hold them in focus. They grew larger of their own accord, so I went with that. They got bigger, and I moved them further away from me so there was room, and then it was just the red triangle, very large.

It occurred to me that when I spun this fast enough, it would be a cone. And that a cone was, technically, "infinite triangles." I had never thought of that before. Then I realized that a pyramid is also a whole mess of triangles. Each side is a triangle. And measured diagonally, the shape was two crossing triangles. In fact you could say that a pyramid was a squared shape of a cone, as if to 'retain' the triangles of the shape but still be in full 3D. As I wandered through this trivia, the open red triangle got yet larger, and I had the sense of 'urge/rightness' to move it around me. I once did that when trying to remote view with a spinning triangle; it was distracting me so I'd made it big and put it around me so it wasn't so much in my vision. Well I did that again, having it go around me, and I got this curious sense of sound, not audible sound but sense-of-sound, like a low strong "whoosh" at a certain point in every turning cycle. The speed of it seemed to increase, and the whooshing sound of it seemed to get louder. it started to seem kind of fun. So I really put my focus on being 'in the center' of it and having it spinning around me powerfully, whooshingly.

And then without warning, as sudden and shocking as the jerk upward by the wrists had been in the previous meditation, it happened. The top of the pyramid seemed to suck in massive energy all the way from the center of the universe out in the starry sky somewhere, that went straight down into the top of my spinning triangle (which was sometimes more like a spinning circle) and through it, through the crown of my head, all the way through my body in the middle, through the bottom of the spinning shape, through the bottom of the pyramid, and all the way to the center of earth. As if the spinning had created a vortex and the pyramid had created a sort of shape of power and the two sort of "sucked" the energy down through. It was so powerful that my body, sitting on my bed, jerked fully spine-upright, my head thrown back and my mouth open, and it was almost like being struck by lightning from the inside for several long seconds, as this whole column of energy rushed through me. I was surprised how intense it was and how long it lasted, and it had the 'sense of rushing-merging' that a great archmed does and I realized that I had, by chance or by IG's help, finally stumbled on what I needed to do for this arch. Absolutely awesome! Really body-and-mind-blowing. At the time it was happening, I had that thing I've gotten during some extreme experiences (kind of a sign of its reality I think), in remote viewing you sometimes get an 'overlay' of one concept on another or something, but this was like 100 overlays all at once, so many my mind couldn't absorb or track them all. And it did get a lot but I forgot again instantly when no longer in that massive column of energy. There was something about the square shape of the pyramid at bottom being an earth shape for connection, and the triangles nature of the pyramid not being accidental, it being dynamic in nature even though static in shape, and the point at the top of a pyramid being both receptive as well as projective, which I didn't understand until later I thought about how lightning loves to hit high pointy stuff (so the shape is receptive then). That stuff was at the bottom and totally trivia though, there was lots more interesting stuff that fell outta my brain alas.

The energy ceased and I felt almost shell-shocked in some way. I felt odd. Then I thought again, for some reason, of that "I am part of something larger" thought I'd had in the previous med, and I suddenly realized I WAS part of something larger. I expanded, realizing that I was everything on an entire planet, everything from the smallest microbe to the entire planet and its atmosphere and everything, and I found myself staring down at the planet from outside it, as if I were a genie and the whole planet and outer energy sphere composed my body. I realized that even though I couldn't see it from this perspective, I could still FEEL, somewhere verrrrrrrry teeeeeeny, that stone pyramid, with the woman inside it. It was like... being 'aware' of one of your blood cells or something, that tiny, yet still perfectly clear to me. I moved my perspective in, toward the part of the planet where I could feel them, with a humor-flash-overlay of Google Earth's way of moving-in like that. I came in rushing until I was just above and around the pyramid. And I felt this sense of... benevolence. For the woman and the pyramid. And I put my energy-hands, which were bigger than the pyramid, around it, and I poured energy into them, and I understood that the woman had been trying to 'open up' in a sense, energetically. I decided that I would make her an anchor of energy, a sort of power source and protector for my planet as it can always use those, and I poured energy into them and designed her so that she would be open to information, powerful, well protected, and anchored with the planet as part of its welfare. I felt such affection during this, for the tiny little pyramid that felt as small as a toy, and the tinier spark of lifeform inside it, as if they were just so... SWEET. And then I was done, it was done, and I realized that I was not only more than all this, I was more than THAT, too, and I leaned backward and felt myself become aware of being an entire galaxy of shapes and forms and life and then I felt more drawing me, and I stretched with my arms up and felt myself finally reach a sense of "home" of the ultimate of birth and rebirth and ISness, and a sense that I was in the center of the galaxy and yet, everything that seemed like it was not right there, actually was. As if the sense-of-separation of something like earth from the center (Sirius A or wherever it is) is actually a total illusion; we are all part of her. It was awesome.

I seemed to either go beyond what my brain could handle or overload, not sure which, as I realized I was just sitting here spaced out, and I went back to the sense of "I" inside the pyramid. Then I realized there was a potential, and I imagined running time back to when I had my hands around the pyramid, except now it was HER hands, and I was IN the pyramid, and I stood up with my legs strong and apart, my feet on the stone floor, and as all the energy came through me and the pyramid I yelled, I ACCEPT! and understood that I was "accepting the designated role given me by the Goddess." Now this nearly made me laugh because not ten minutes before when IG had gone all pagan on me I'd actually thought about how I was so NOT into the Wiccan thing and never really related to it and yet, I had such a powerful sense that SHE, which I knew intellectually had been me but now it felt so much MORE I did not mix us at all, that it was a she and that she was a sort of collective consciousness of the whole earth, Gaia maybe?, and that she had the power to make me whatever she liked and that I was just hugely, unbelievably HONORED for it. A million possibilities of what this might entail, some not so great, flashed through my head in a microsecond and I responded with a shrug, "Whatever it takes. I am hers." I was as surprised and impressed by this feeling as by anything previous in the experience.

I projected out of the pyramid, which I now felt a special significance for I hadn't previously, and went back to IG. I hugged her, assuming she had helped me. Because really, I feel like I would NEVER have actually come up with "the way" to do that archmed merge without her. I would never have thought that I needed to merge with the shaped and then go to the center and spin a triangle around me hahaha -- that's just totally obscure! Who would ever think of that?! Usually archmeds you just ... heal something or put it back together or whatever. They aren't usually nearly that complicated!

I wondered about the other part. I honestly had the feeling that the Goddess part (so to dub it something, as I'm not sure what to call it) was not actually a planned part of the meditation. That it was actually totally in line with the intent of the archetype and the meditation, however, that it had not actually been part of it; I mean that the energy bit with the pyramid was the archmed, that it had just been powerful enough and caused other 'side effects' in me, to spark the second part, which was a whole separate experience in a way.

I went back to my plateau and considered the outer guides again. Were they part of me? Then they were part of that amazing energy creature the goddess summation of earth, or whatever it was, had just designated an anchor of light and power and protection and communication. So I imagined encompassing all of them and then pulling in energy and rushing it through all of them. Then I rolled it all up inside me.

I still felt completely weird in a good way. I wondered if I felt heavier but then I decided no, it was more like I felt more aware of every cell of my body, which amounted to a mental version of that (feeling heavier) but not a physical one. I felt 'smooth' inside too, a rather ineffable feeling.

My boyfriend called and I told him about it. Then I started writing it out, but after a short time felt I needed to just close the computer and sit quietly 'in the center' and absorb for awhile, so I did. Eventually I felt I should sleep, so I did.

I woke up this morning normally. In a good mood, but nothing special. I kind of feel my crown chakra in a way I haven't in a long time, but even that isn't extreme or anything. I do still have a residue of the sense of 'internally smooth' that is hard to put into words, but even that is not real strong.

My doubting mind has kicked in and although I believed it to be a 'real and meaningful' experience last night, now I wonder if it was just an unusually powerful hallucination. I wonder if it matters. If you hallucinate something like that, so it was real to you, would it have the same effect anyway I wonder. I was so... EXTREME in several ways that the sheer extremity of it is the part that makes me doubt, I guess.

I have this slightly unsettling feeling that I've made a commitment and an acceptance and it doesn't really matter if I doubt or not, or change my mind or not, because what is already is and has always been and will always be and maybe all of that stuff in the meditation is, was, and forever will be, and it just so happens that last night was the place some larger-me put it "in the sense of flowing time" but that it was eternal. Destiny, dharma, whatever. Four planets in virgo and the circle squared and the square sits on earth and spins triangles and connects with the universe and maybe it's always been so, I just lived in ignorant bliss of it until now.

Still... as I used to say in Bewilderness... it's just another day.

PJ