Her Choice

Last night it was IG's turn to choose the archetype. I can't remember what happened now but I do remember that I finished it. This morning I let her choose again, with the same results. The archs are hard to make out and so it's not leaving a big memory. I asked her for one I could perceive better this morning and got a human arch, a man, who was a nice addition to a randy morning, but I haven't any idea what he represented.

Finally I said IG, it's really tough that these archs you choose must be stuff I have some issues with because they're hard for me to perceive. And nothing personal, but it gets hard to do this stuff when there's several like that, because I start feeling like I'm just making it all up and wasting my time. It's the sense of "internal kinesthetics," the vividness, the emotion and reaction sparked in me, the merging rush, that really emphasizes to me that these are powerful and effective.

I decided I will do what I should always do -- get in an altered state first. Of course the closer you are to dreaming, the more depth your dream-imagery is going to have. I've been working to be fully wide awake in part to keep myself from falling asleep. But today I will dig up some headphones and try some bineural beat stuff, maybe that brainsync.com 'deep meditation' CD I like, as part of the arch work.

I have to say that just having done the meds for a few days running, morning and night, making a point to have a candle and incense when possible, seems to be relaxing me like a nice ritual to begin and end my day. I feel a sense of commitment to IG and to myself. I recall that when I began these meds they were difficult to feel in touch with for a long time, but the more I did them and the more altered state I was, the more impactive they were, until they were mind blowing, body rushing, stunning experiences. I seem to be going from intense to barely-there and back and forth on that.