God, Enochian and Oliphant

This was a brief collection of pages from a period when I was reading about and performing something called Enochian Magick. Initially I was very impressed with how powerful this is, with how present the identities are psychically. I later had a real problem with it, because every time I would focus on this energy, entities I dislike (the Guardians of earth as property, the cat-eyed lizard guys) would show up and drag me OBE.

I also later griped about Enochian that there is no clear map to how the tablets/entities relate to US, like where humans are on there. And the 'call of the Aethyrs', translated, is like saying, bring on armageddon and open this world to the bad guys--gee, let's do some of that, NOT.

I feel it is a legitimate and very powerful magick, and it "includes" -- overlaps, you might say -- legitimate elements of our universe. What I mean is that some of what's involved, e.g. the 30 Aethyrs, are legit 'dimensions'. Enochian does not "own" the Aethyrs and their content any more than the Catholic church "owns" the Christ energy. It is simply the only model currently that mentions to us their existence.

But I feel that much of Enochian working is not in accordance with my Will; with whatever God I am loyal to and part of. Some is "neutral" -- dimensions and entities exist, without regard to my intent -- but some (like the Call, and like the Guardians) is definitely not. So I now no longer have any formal association with that Magick.

These snippets are from when I was being introduced to it and working it in formal ceremony with some other magickians that I liked very much (I miss them and hope they are doing well, whatever has become of them).


Journal Fragment, June 22, 1994

Have been reading intensely about Enochian magick. I talked to "Nalvage" (nawl-vaw'-gee), from the tablet, he is some sort of angel over angels I guess.

Journal Fragment, June 23, 1994

I seem to be having a spiritual identity crisis. Weeks ago, I felt alone, desolate, as if I no longer knew who God was and had lost contact. Well I don't feel like my contact is lost now. But I still feel uncertain of how to pray to an unknown God. What is in a name? Why must I know? I've no idea why it should matter. This God of mine has never been named before. Only now I feel as if... why should God listen, any more than any other entity, if I do not know his name?

Is he providing beings like Nemo to help?

{I have some vague recall of an entity named 'Nemo' coming and talking to me in the middle of the night, while I was staying at the house of an Enochian magickian, reading some very difficult to acquire books he had. I had recently heard the name 'Nemo', it is some entity in the Enochian Aethyrs or something ('Garden of Nemo' comes to mind, but that's all I remember, nothing about what it might be or be like). Now I wonder if that might have been my first encounter with Nero and I misconstrued the name to fit a recent name I'd heard of 'an entity'? No maybe not, since that first name IS an known entity.}

I did not really 'believe in' my ability to talk with entities then. So I talked to them regularly and then "forgot" all about it. I only have as recall a few rare accounts I actually wrote down somewhere.

Journal Fragment, June 23, 1994

The ritual {an IAO Enochian ritual} went well. They seemed very satisfied with the power in it. I was surprised by the strength of that I felt immediately.

But when we finished the ritual, the three of them were promptly outside smoking discussing the ritual like a football game. That was difficult for me, coming down for that. Rituals make me feel even more strongly in the presence of God. I wanted to kneel then, once the formalities were over; I wanted to pray, to meditate, to give glory to the God I felt inside me. I can't help but notice it. Their awareness of Grace seems a bit limited. Their devotion is not apparent from their actions. They Call as Magickians but they do not Pray as part of God. I don't understand that.

It is my constant craving for the divinity of me, for God, that I feel keeps me in line. This is my talisman; this is what ensures that no path is leading to darkness. I go seeking God and determined to find him. I fear nothing else. I have long considered my "good intentions" my lucky charm; surely God will guide me if it is his love I seek first and foremost.

When I think of "God" and making a promise and incarnating here for a reason, I am almost overwhelmed. O God, I love you so much. I crave you inside me and near me and surrounding me. I am so honored to be part of you. I would die for you and probably have in other lives. Anything. Nothing is enough for your glory; nothing is too much. I tremble in frustration at my inability to put my feelings in words for you. Whatever could be said about me, let it not ever be said that my faith, my heart, were untrue to the light. This plane is my assignment and I shall live it with honor. May I not forget that. Please. Please. Please.

Journal Fragment, date unknown

Last night, I sure wish I remember the dream that it related to, but it was about something in life really worrying me. At the end, when I woke up, an identity (seeming male) said to me very clearly, "Everything is going to be fine." And then, to show me "who" he was, this word flashes in gold letters and he carefully underlined it to draw my attention. The word was "Oliphant." I "felt" it in my gut, too, so I am sure I didn't mix up the letters.

I think I have heard this in something occult but I can't remember where, I have searched in google but darn it, so many people have that name it turns out (including some in occult literature) that the bazillion refs to people hide any possible ref there might be to something else. I had the clear sense, though, that this was both a name and a title, and that this was an archetypal role; like the way to think about it was nearly like a tarot role (e.g., the heirophant), this just wasn't in that deck.

Journal Fragment, date unknown

I once had an OBE with the cat-eyed lizard guys. They told me that it was time for me to make a commitment to them. I resisted. They assured me that __ was part of them, and surely I wanted to do anything he would? I didn't believe them. If that were true, why was he not there himself. I felt they were lying to me in the hopes it would sway me. I resisted.

They assured me they were telling the truth. They showed me a room of something akin to computer monitors, and how they could tune into the most secret rooms and places on the planet that we would never dream they could. They told me they first met him many years ago in a literally 'secret underground' room where he gave a briefing to a higher ranking military officer. I sensed this part was true, but that they were mixing it with lie to confuse me. I resisted. They encouraged.

And I found my courage, remembered who I was on some level, and planted my feet firmly and yelled to them, I AM OF MICHAEL! YOU CANNOT HAVE ME. I AM OF MICHAEL! and they were very pissed off.

Later when I told ___ of that, he said: "That is all they can do. They can fuck with your mind, or try. They can try to get you to believe. But that is ALL they can do. If you don't let them, they can't hurt you." And I realized that every time I have referred to the narrator (which he dryly says perhaps should be called "the dictator," certainly proving he's met the same 'aspect of self') or I refer to entities, or aliens, spiritual or other, he volunteers little if anything... but once in awhile when he does, its clear that he knows more about it than I might have expected.

Man, I don't like those guys. They WISH. Dream on, jerks. I am HIS. Never yours.

PJ

Sigils, the Black Cross, and Star Gates

I've been watching the show Stargate SG-1 with the kid, via hulu.com (Its Name Be Praised, thanks to free sci-fi). So that means when I sleep, and before and after, and now-and-then, some % of my brain operating independently in multitasking is actually thinking about the plotlines, the philosophy, and so forth. That's normal for me. That's one reason I never let a dilemma in a show go unresolved, like not watching the end -- because my brain will spend days or longer attempting to work out the 'why' in every level of altered state. It's the Virgo-troubleshooter version of 'nature abhors a vaccuum' -- my mind cannot abide a problem unsolved, apparently.

Getting to the point:

Once it was clear that neither IG nor the tower would be introducing me to any further 'Aeons' for the Consortium, leaving me with 12 (I thought it might end up with 16 but I guess not), I rearranged them into a circle that I perceive as 'around me' or like a ring. They had a say in this; I don't know why the arrangement is like it is, and Nero suggested it didn't have super deep/important meaning--but that it does have some.

I keep that image on my desktop and sometimes I notice trivial stuff about it. Like that Ithikah and Hot Amanakhaton are at the top and bottom, or front and back depending on how you look at it, and I can't put in words why this seems not coincidental or they seem similar in some fashion like they are really tall and so powerful in some physical way. Or why Maelee and L'Anna are at the sides across from one another, they seem similar in some fashion too, like powerful healers and the feminine energy. Or why if I divide it into groups of 3 (Ithikah to Taan, L'Anna to Marcan, Hot ___ to Calmé, Maelee to Nero), each group has one female. Honestly maybe this doesn't mean anything, but it feels like it does -- not a huge thing, but something.

You can see what I had in my head when I woke up: on the last episode we watched, they found another stargate here on earth, buried far beneath the ice in Antarctica. The dilemma was: how would they know, what would give away that the lost SG-1 members were in fact on earth rather than at some other planet's stargate? How could those searching (such as the delicious Michael Shanks) know to look on earth? The coordinates of the other gate would be identical--a side effect that prevents it from being able to 'dial home', at least initially when two SG-1 people find themselves there--it essentially gets 'a busy signal'. How could the obscure minor 'symptoms' of the attempt to invoke the other gate clue them in to its existence?

I really didn't care, once the episode was over. But something in the back of my head did, so that is what I woke up thinking about.

So as I sleepily mused on if you had a stargate and you didn't know it existed, what would be your clue?, as well as on why do I eat pizza when it makes me feel like crap the next morning?, I realized with some amusement that now that my Aeons are in a circle as a concept-model, that I have my own stargate, ha-ha-ha.

Any given Aeon I connect with, there is a certain energy. They are very specifically different. The better I know them, the more obvious that is.

I considered that in my archetype work I can creatively combine archetypes, have them work together even, and that in theory, this could go for the Aeons too. Like I could bring together any given number of them. Maybe in a certain order for me, that fit the analogy, the concept-model. I imagined a sequence of this- then- that- one, energetic lines that while linear in my perception mostly served to connect them on the same circuit, and the result in my head, I realized -- startled -- was a Sigil.

In Enochian Magick, the Black Cross for example, there is this table of Sigils -- funky simple geometries that to the gut, seem like a star chart. Each square (Aeon?) character is an identity. Each has its own energy, but every 2 connected, 3, 4, 5, becomes a larger and more complex and powerful identity, and changing the sequence of their connection will change the nature of that identity, and you 'invoke' them (or perhaps 'evoke' them would be more accurate for my Aeons, as they are part of me, or rather we are all part of a larger Being). That got my attention and woke me up a little more because I hadn't connected these patterns before.

I wrote about The Rainbow of Soul in 1995 as part of Bewilderness but that was like finding the same road from a very different origin--if you visit that link and scroll down you will see a little table of the Black Cross and Sephiroth and so on and some explanation. I don't want to put the image of the BC here because running into/working with that energy has made me bizarrely superstitious about presenting its patterns any more than necessary.

I have previously written as a gripe about the Enochian stuff that it had no point of origin, no relative explanation of where WE are in that universe, something that always bothered me about that model (not quite as much as the cat-eyed lizard guys showing up any time I focused on that magick bothered me though).

I suddenly thought: well that's because it isn't really ours. It was given to Dee/Kelley but its real origin is probably the telepathic cat-eyed folks; it is THEIR map; their stargate- arranged- as- a box- of- squares. The 'symbol combinations' in the stargate scifi analogies to the sigils, the unique combination of characters in Enochian.

It occurred to me that the Consortium are my personal Black Cross; they are my Star Gate. Maybe the universes to explore are all 'me', but the mental model works, either way.

Then it occurred to me that maybe when the scifi thinks of 'visiting another planet' and magick thinks of 'visiting another dimension' and in the Aeons model I am 'invoking/evoking a certain energy pattern in my larger-self', that maybe there is no real difference between these things.

Maybe in a Holographic universe, a Serpienski String model of self mixed with that, where galaxies look amazingly like body chakras, where I can't help but think that maybe we are the size of the cosmos and also the size of a liver enzyme and oblivious that somehow it is all the same thing experienced differently -- maybe other dimensions, other planets, and other aspects of our larger-selves, are the same thing. Like how space and time are also the same, ice and water are the same, like how all points are here and now, the zero-point they call it in modern terms.

What would happen, I wondered, if I combined my Aeons in different groupings, in different sequence, and meditated on that?

It isn't the linear sequence, I heard inside me (who knows from who/where), --it is the degree of connection/priority that one identity-pattern-of-energy has to another. Maybe it was Ithikah because at the same time that came in, these sort of geometries rolled out inside me that made me feel like in my gut they 'translated to' both the idea of, and the shape of, how when you write math equations, "parenthesis make all the difference" haha.

So if I connected Nero with Marcan and then L'Anna and then Taan, the point would not be the 'linear' path from N-M-L-T, because nothing is linear truly. The point would be that (a) Nero and Taan were the 'boundary anchors' (an identity-version of the nature elements) and (b) that Marcan-L'Anna was the energy that 'brought Nero and Taan together', and that (c) Nero had more connection to Marcus than to Taan in that 'equation'.

Equation. Fractal. Geometry. Pattern of connection; a Sigil. A star chart. Every man and every woman is a star. You see? It is all the same at different perspectives; like space and time are different perceptual models for the same fundamental. Like why the aspects of the LARGER-me are called "Aeons" because space, time and identity are all part of the same fabric.

I think... I think I almost get it.

Aw well. It's just another day. Off to do the dishes now.

PJ