ArchMed: Fear of Psi #1

Since I still haven't gotten to #3 of the Knight of Wands meditation, I thought I would post a couple 2002-era impactive archmeds that I just found the record of yesterday. I wonder why sometimes the stuff I most expect to be nothing and shrug off, turn out to be the most mind bending.


From Jul 18 2002. Archmed: Fear of Psi #1

I decided to do an archetype meditation on 'fear of psi'.

While I've never felt this is much of an issue for me, some psychologists, such as Dr. Charles T. Tart, feel that fear of psi is a culturally common thing, much moreso than we realize, so I figured, it could not hurt to give it a try. (Didn't expect much.)

I was using a hemi-sync CD, focus 12 freeflow, which I put on repeat. I first spent some time just getting in a nicely altered state. I feel much more in touch with my 'emotional body' in F12 and I tend to feel emotions and such very _physically_, so it is really good for these meds.

I asked my guide for the archetype of My Fear of Psi. I rather figured this would be a fairly quick meditation, but who knows, maybe useful in some way.

The arch was humanoid. I turned to look at him and nearly hyperventilated as I put my hands on my chest. I couldn't see him well. He was covered with the symbol of fear, a "spiders in the gooey dark" kind of concept. The fear literally gripped me. My heart beat fast. I found myself distracted by other thoughts. Every time I brought myself back and tried to focus on the arch, I started breathing fast and hard again. I could feel the fear physically in my chest, a powerful force.

I was thinking to myself, my god! Dr. Tart probably didn't realize it was THIS big a deal, sheesh! And I was really surprised because I honestly didn't think this would be any big deal for me, and yet, this arch felt like one of the few very "core" archs have with me -- very powerful.

I realized I couldn't do it alone. I reacted too physically to it. So I called in my Sun -- he is my love, my energy, he works with me in a lot of archmeds, either merging with me or just being with me, or once in awhile I have certain archs hold hands with each other or something to share energies between two concepts. I also called in 'responsibility'. This is not the right word in english, use the 'true will/dharma' meaning of it, not the surface 'obligation' meaning. That arch is humanoid but not human, sort of the ultimate warrior, a strong man with golden eyes like a tiger and quills like a porcupine that normally lie flat on his skin. I had a profound, really physical, really oddly sexual meditation with him when I was at TMI (I was ignoring the tape and doing a med instead), that was so incredible, I felt as if he were physically inside my skin and any psychic looking at me might actually see HIM instead of me. He is very powerful and I wanted him to protect me. So with the two of them there with me, I finally had the courage to face the 'fear of psi' archetype.

First things first. I'm a clean freak when it comes to archetypes. Any sign of dirt, dust, bugs, etc. is a sign that I have a problem with the arch. (Dust usually indicates it's something I have buried for a long time in myself. Dirt that it is something I have denigrated in myself. Bugs/gross stuff usually indicates it is something I have real fear about. These are fairly repetitive symbols I've learned.) So first I had to clean him off. It was so thick and icky that I had to stand way back (hyperventilating a bit still), and imagine the 'water of life' in a sort of high pressure hose like the car wash, LOL. I cleaned him from head to toe in a about 6 detailed sprays. Then I surveyed him. He was still gross. I sensed that everything - his ear canals down to his neck, his digestive system all the way through, everything, had that horrible stuff. So I had to clean him out completely on the inside, too. (Sometimes such meds are quite physiological. You gotta be as objective as a doctor about it.)

The fear in my body lessened in my chest, and seemed to 'recede' from the chest, and then could be felt between the heart and solar plexus area.

(Note: when doing such things, imagine the arch is standing on a thick grate, and the gross stuff falls into it, is liquified, and is put in the 'waste disposal system' of that world. This is important because it seems from experience that these meditations often cleanse the physiological body of the meditator (as well as perhaps the energy body, if you wanna get metaphysical about it). Literally it can flush a lot of toxins. You don't want them just in your system or it'll be like doing a cleansing diet without taking appropriate herbs or liquids to wash it out, you'll have a good med and wake up with a body-aching flu. Use that symbology and your body will dump such things in the normal body waste disposal systems.)

When that was done I surveyed him once again. I was still too afraid to get super near him frankly, but felt a little better. I decided I still sensed a strong darkness throughout him, and he needed a chakra cleansing in a big way. (For those clueless, chakras are the hypothesized 'energy vortexes' throughout the body; there are a number of 'major' ones, the number and color and some placement depends on the tradition.) So I had Sun help me and we gradually cleaned him out energetically too. Really ICKY! he was. Yuck. Anyway, so finally he was pretty clean.

The 'fear' in my body had faded further, though it still existed, and had continued moving down to my solar plexus and a little below.

I had to get fairly close to him to do the crown chakra. I was able to, but still not comfortable. When it was over, I knew there was a lot more work to do, and told him that, but I'd done what I could for the time. We traded some symbols in the body. That was that. I will have to work a lot more with him as we are nowhere near the point of a good merge.

The intriguing thing to me was that "fear of psi," which I didn't think would be any big deal with me really, turned out to be such a "core" issue and so profoundly fearful. I am still kind of amazed about that. I mean, I've been 'into' the RV field for a long time, and wouldn't suspect that I personally have 'fear' about it. Yet, these meditations are usually extremely accurate about what is inside oneself, so I have to believe it must be so.

I am hoping that over time, my working with this archetype will resolve any issues in my RV that such deep, hidden issues might be affecting.

PJ