Knight of Wands, part 6 (4/4)

Finally! My god! It has taken SIX MONTHS to get all the way through this ONE archetype. I've never had anything be that hard before -- to do or "to get around to" doing. Finally this morning I managed to get to the last meditation to finish it off.

I couldn't see the arch through most of it. I just held onto it. Everything I did 'to' the arch I felt personally, with all kinds of 'rushes' and 'buzzes' through my whole body. Mostly just all the basic stuff. When I was finally done, it looked like me. Geez. The 4th of 4?? Maybe I should have seen that coming. We merged and spent awhile on that. Then I pulled in a merge each of the other three and THAT was a really body rocking merge altogether.

When totally done, I did another meditation on the relationship between me and my guides, with an emphasis on my resistance/issues. The arch started out as something like a spider-human hybrid that was about 20 feet tall. Ok... apparently I have some problems there LOL. By the time I finally finished, I was able to merge a bit, and then I went through and held the hands and focused on each of my outer guides in turn that I've been introduced to (Nero, Taan, Bolehren, Ithika, and Marcan*), and then merged them all into me which was a great rush.

IG was invisible--I've been out of this too long--but I felt great with her at the end. I've got to do more of this for my own good.

I'm happy enough now. That was my goal for the weekend, was to get through that meditation -- which I should have done six months ago. Finally, I can move on!

I don't really even know what all this accomplished but anything this difficult is powerful so I know it's for the good. I'm hoping to make a sort of loose 'plan' of archs to work through, aside from whatever IG assigns, from now on. I guess until the next utterly gnarly hairy arch kicks my ass like this one did.

PJ

PPS> Marcus later said 'Marcan' was better.