Astral Geeks

Today I feel like an idiot. It only just became clear to me that even during my most focused, vivid and dedicated meditation periods, I've been like a fool stumbling down the high wire, oblivious and too lazily disorganized to bother learning anything from any of the previous steps.

Since my efforts are like nothing-nothing-nothing-OBSESS!-nothing in cycles, every year or two I have a 'period' that almost stands alone for experience. It is so separated from other periods, and my recall is so quickly iffy on this stuff anyway, that it's like a bad alzheimers joke. ("New guides every day!") Outside of the Four and IG, I'm lucky to remember anything at all.

I get very clearly from my recent 'review' that the energy of the Senior is a 'symbol' that repeats. When I see black, or rectangles, it's his energy. I tripped over a whole variety of dreams where thick rectangles were involved, over meditations where archetypes had a rectangle sticking out of their head, stuff like that. Did I get it? Of course not. Because I've never really tried to keep track of different symbols and associations. That would make sense. We wouldn't want that!

I also tripped over all kinds of stuff that lacked useful detail. "And a cat..." or "And this big monster-thing..." Yeah? What kind? What color? I didn't think to write that down. Geez, in an entire universe operating on SYMBOL -- sounds, colors, textures, shapes -- details matter, for godssakes! (The viewer in me just grabbed me by the throat and shook me when I realized all this. "No duh!") WHY have I not made an effort to correlate the symbols I get?

Turns out I've had "rubber" as a texture in several archmeds. I also had it in a psi experience with a distant healer and his team about a decade ago. On at least three occasions I have specifically been told, seen, or understood, that this represents non-conductivity, a 'block or barrier' to energy. It's not just energy with issues; in fact it is never the energy itself in fact; it's the complete "protection" from that energy having interaction with me. Whatever is behind it is not something I'm unintegrated with and trying to keep out; it's energy already part of me that I'm trying to "block off".

I've also repeatedly had "cone-shapes" in the inner world. In every case it has played a similar role to rubber, of "dividing" something, protecting/concealing. Once even like a traffic cone, there's some extra symbol for the obvious. To prevent yourself from feeling, I was once told when the shape was in my body. So far, cones have only turned up in two textures: rubber (always but once) and something like lucite/glass (once).

Bolehran was completely separated from me by a huge rubber Galosha. It was invisible initially. Jared was trapped in a glass-like cone -- maybe the symbol there is that I could see through it, but it was still the same kind of block. Half a dozen body meds have had small rubber cones inside my body like little energy blocks. A lake arch had two big rubber cones poking in from underwater in a bad area. There's more but the point is, if I knew this, if I were paying attention, I would see a cone in the inner world and say to myself, "That is hiding something from me, telling me to avoid it, pseudo-protection." I would feel rubber and I would say to myself, "This is a nonconductive energy block."

It doesn't matter what or where it is. I don't need to think about it, wonder, pace and ponder, ask for help. There is no question about it. Rubber is fundamentally non-conductive and in my inner world it is always a 'block' and needs to be dealt with. It is never 'the' archetype, entity, or primary energy. It is in front of that, blocking it. I could have saved myself a lot of confused wondering and uncertainty if I had realized this.

And I would have known it, if I had kept track of anything. How hard would that be? A notebook with a section for color, for textures, for symbols or numbers or letters, for shapes. A freakin collection of post-its for godssakes, this IS NOT HARD. Anybody with even half an organizing whit would have done this 15 years ago. I'm a librarian-geek, a "documentarian", a relational database freak, and yet I of all people managed to not even think of this! It boggles the mind.

I feel -- in my gut, not just in my head -- that I'm at the point where this matters more now. Where I need to be able to, for example, meet up with an energy and know something about it by the fact that it's a certain shape or color or number or texture.

It's possible that knowing something about the Four and the Aeons will tell me who could be the most help in dealing with something or someone. Or tell me the nature of something I've run into. Or tell me how important something is. Or tell me when what I'm perceiving is a block, not the thing behind that block. I'm sure there's 101 things I'm not even thinking of. Since I've never had the advantage of having A SINGLE FREAKING CLUE about my inner world, I've never had the chance to see the possible advantages of having one!

In the imaginal inner world, just like in psychic work, certain mindsets create side-effects. Even though you can develop a skill for not putting too much of yourself in (I mean restricting the % of intentional imagination; letting the subconscious take an equal role), you can still have your experience be influenced by yourself. It's not so much that it shows you something 'not real' (whatever that is, in this model!), as that something will be a lot less perceptible than it would have been otherwise because you're not accepting it.

A lot like in psi work, the more accurate understanding you have once you're "in the zone," often the better the rest works for you, whereas if you're still lost in space, or convinced it's something else, that is going to cause issues. Knowing a couple key things about the 'nature' of what you're working with inside, is like sensing the gestalt or context of a viewing target once you're well into session. If you're right, it helps hugely. If you're wrong you're screwed.

In RV expectations that are wrong can cause no-data or wrong or filtered data (guessing--nobody really knows this answer for sure). (To deal with this, you spend most your session time trying desperately to not believe anything lest it be wrong, but to record everything lest it be right. Sheesh.) In meditation it sure does work like that though: it causes reduced or removed perception, or sometimes a different symbol-form, one which is much less effective for your interaction or innate understanding, than the spontaneous original might have been.

I have spent 15 years in a country of "inner world" where I have refused to make any effort to learn the native language. How anybody who spent over a decade immersed in hypnosis, who is well aware of the symbolic nature of the mind, who was even introduced to gematria and the correspondences, could somehow have failed to absorb that it's a whole world with a whole language which suggests one might want to LEARN the language if they're going to operate there -- honestly it's beyond me. I am the biggest geek I know. An astral geek! I bet my Aeons tell jokes about me when I'm not around.

PJ