Whack-a-Mole!

Ha! The first tiny symptoms of actually getting what I asked for in my 'commitment' meditation are showing up. So far... I didn't even realize it until now and today I've been oblivious. Now I realize, I have been reacting like it's metaphysical Whack-A-Mole! or something.

Hey, what is that doing in my reality?! Whack!!

A bit ago, I randomly (sort of) thought of my right leg (I forget why but there was some reason). This made me remember the archmed I once did on that and the amazing initial visual. Then I thought of the vast amount of STUFF in my right leg from toes to hip when you look at it from a macro level -- it's really quite amazing when you think about it, even as its own 'thing'.

It's a whole world on its own I thought, at the same time as inside my head, a 'small planet with amazing colorful social spaceport' image + concept bloomed, replete with the sense of moving hovercars and more below. I thought to myself, Oh, well THAT's imaginative! Hey, drop that or it'll screw up your next archmed. Remember you wanted to try that again. If you make up stuff, your med might pick up that complex fantasy symbolism, instead of whatever was natural to the archmed.

Then I felt inside, like a corrective answer (is this IG responding to my pleading to talk to me more pointedly during normal life?): That IS what is natural! Consider that you may get more natural and more detail when you are not paying such attention, like this when it's spontaneous, than when you are waiting expectantly for an archetype in a formal meditation.

I also felt: You asked IG to work more proactively with you in your waking life, yet the minute you start pulling more of that energy into your waking life, you start invalidating it, and even making plans for how to prevent it having any effect on your future!

Huh. Why is it formal archetype work can be anything, no matter how moronic (bubbles of worlds? Puhleeze!) but if I get spontaneous imagery as part of my daily life I consider it ridiculous? It's an archetype, it's symbolism, it is not expected to be literal! Why should I be so judgemental? Actually, even using logic on it, since since legs are powerful primary 'foundation', a whole small planet is a decent symbol, and since they are primary 'locomotion' and usually vertical, a spaceport is also a decent symbol. There's tons of activity through them in many areas, on many levels, every minute of the day, so the sense of tons of small things going back and forth makes sense as a symbol too.

But here I've already got this whole left brain critique of whatever spontaneous imagery/concept comes through, because I was not officially standing in my inner world doing an archetype meditation. Uh huh. If it happens inside an archmed it is Official and spontaneous creativity and if I have no active conscious participation in it, that is fabulous. Outside an archmed, I am imagining things and that's SO impractical and ridiculous and 'fantasy'.

And after all that about shifting to here-now, to this-world functioning without needing a 'separate mental space', to not needing formal meditation blocks of time in order to work with that energy, etc. Now I see that when this really DOES arrive just as I requested, I am promptly very resistant to it.

I think there is something I hadn't considered about this request and shift of focus. A great deal of my "functionality" -- the fact that most people would never suspect I talk to entities inside me constantly, because I seem (and am, actually!) so logical and practical in other respects -- is because I have learned to keep the "pieces of me" separate (as I once put it when discussing how I'd kept my online identities separate, in the past).

It occurs to me this is a good analogy to my opinion on remote viewing as practiced by many people I've met. They don't really allow themselves to be psychic and are quite threatened by that in fact, but they are able to create a special ritual during which it is "ok" to allow that in themselves, under certain conditions. When that first went public the alleged experts actually insisted it wasn't psychic, how totally retarded is that!--but they'd been brainwashed to allow it as the 'exception' in their lives under that model: it wasn't them, it was the method of how they wrote it down. Psi wasn't a constant river of Jungian stew rushing through you, a constant challenge and threat and novelty; no, it only happened IF you sat down and did the hokey-pokey like so. Whew, we're safe!

I think maybe I have a corrolate to that myself with archetype work. What is easier and more common than 'imaginative interaction' in daily life?--good heavens, I began this big focus-phase a month or so ago by working to catch and stop negative daydreams, so obviously 'constant creative interaction' is a given! And yet I've limited my useful creative interaction to formal meditation, while the natural constant flow of creative interaction the mind does, I have either ignored (and misused) for years (in daydreams), or tried to stomp out entirely recently (gee it's kinda starting to sound like an analogy for sex/masturbation too, isn't it? -- maybe "creative energy interaction" has a few analogies).

I'll keep working on it.

P.S. And now to get really mundane... today, Imeem.com died. I won't touch myspace which bought it, instantly shut it down, and then redirected me a page telling me I'd be eventually set up on their music site. Get lost! I have taken up slacker.com radio in response. I typed in a search for 'shannon' (and chose the song by henry gross from the 70s, just a spontaneous idea, who knows why!) and it's been tons of 70s "laid back" music. Dr. Hook, Stephen Bishop, Christopher Cross, England Dan and John Ford Coley, Bread, Firefall, Little River Band, America, kickback stuff like that. (I'm dating myself with that of course. ;-)) I haven't had time to do any more exploring. This is another variant on lastfm.com which is 'internet radio' (lastfm has a little 'browser status bar app' so you don't need a window open, kinda neat). This one has commercials (!) -- but very limited. This has portable access for ipod freaks of course. I also use -- more akin to imeem in approach of choosing specific songs and playlists -- grooveshark.com.

PJ