Windows and Synchronicity

I'm sure getting a lot more offbeat overlay-visuals than I used to. Normally I get a little sound that way, though I only notice it when I pay attention. Sometimes it's imagination; sometimes it seems like reality-overlay. But I seem to be doing it more with visuals lately.

For example I'll be thinking, or doing something, and suddenly a very vivid visual so affects me because for a moment I think it's real. If I had time with it I would realize it weren't real but usually the first impact of it startles me and pulls me out of experiencing it.

Today I was nearly asleep when, like a mini-dream, on this street that I visited yesterday in another city, I was walking near the corner, when around the corner incredibly fast came (of all things) a modern train and it ran right into me -- or at least, the total shock of the fact that I was suddenly being hit by a modern train was so severe that I literally leapt up in defense-panic reaction just at the instant when it would have done so.

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Last night I finished an archmed I'd let IG choose previously. I'd worked on something until it split into 5 parts and each part had its own issues. I'm trying to remember them now. That's why I have to blog this stuff immediately, 'cause it falls out of my head otherwise!

There was one that had these long cone-shaped black rubber bullet-like inserts all over his body especially in his palms, feet, head, etc. He said that was to keep him from feeling in those areas. There was another that had some terrible abscess-boils on his head that went impossibly deep. There was another that kept shaking his head like a cat that gets fur stuck in its mouth. He said he had a bad taste and kept trying to wash it out. There was one that had some metal... something in front of it. We unwound all the molecules and then remade it into a flying carpet. I forget the other. I worked with each of them until it was through.

I am overdue for getting to my Knight of Wands tarot archetype meditation and the next session from the archmed that sparked that. I've started listening to some bineural-beat stuff. I had really forgotten how if you're not used to it, some of that can just knock you out cold! Actually I think any given 'focus level' can if you're not used to it and it's got a dominance of theta or a good dose of delta. Anyway so several times I've been snoring instead of meditating, but I'm sure that will pass.

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I've been doing a new brief visualization though. For days I have just been in a vastly better mood about everything. I was talking at-large to all-guides one day while driving, thinking that I wanted them to help me any way they chose to, and then I wanted to "clear out doubt or attachment to reality" and "let go" so they could operate freely. I had this visual-concept of like a big sphere like a snowglobe. Except each tiny piece of snow was actually a guide "aspect of me", and I was at the center, and all of us together were a sort of galazy. I imagined that I released any grungy dark matter between all the stars that were me, and that my whole personal solar system / galaxy / whatever, was really clean and free. It seems to work ok, as a 1-second meditative concept. :-)

On the 13th I was overcome by this desire to DO something about my windows. For 8 years in this house I have mostly ignored the windows. The kid is missing a curtain; the back room has a curtain duck-taped on because the curtain rod fell; the other window is missing one; the side-front and kitchen window and kitchen door are all missing them; I had the day to myself and was planning to come home and sleep. When I got home I felt absolutely wired and driven to FIX THIS. I wondered why I cared, really, if I hadn't cared much until now, not that I don't think it's relevent, just that you know, there are limited things to spend money on. But I felt very powerfully that this was a really powerful and profound thing in a Feng Shui sense, and that some messed-up energy had resolved in me which was reflected in that, and now the outer world had to be resolved to match, or it would have internal effects.

So I went and spent way too much money--even though on cheap stuff at WalMart, my little city's only real store!--and got rods, blinds, sheers, and curtains (depending) for every one of the 13 windows in the house. For the first time EVER, when I am asleep, I am actually IN THE DARK, not having light shining in through and around the semi-curtains I had. For the first time, every window looks decent. For the first time, we actually have privacy, and don't have to worry about running into the kitchen when half-naked for example. It's very cool. I don't fully understand why it was so needed but I am trusting my intuition that it really was.

Meanwhile, on that day, I spent a very long time shopping, and it was hilarious how "synchronicity" had amped-up. I almost couldn't think positively of anything without it falling right to hand. Every quantity I needed of something was exactly how much they had (and often not at first but I'd think, "Oh, I needed two more!" or something and then I'd slightly turn my head and right there would be exactly two more). By the end of the day it was just funny. I haven't had synchronicity work like that for me in a good 15 years.

After my inspiration-overwhelm, but before my shopping spree, I stopped by the hair salon. Once a year I get my useless hair chopped off just above the shoulders. This time I had a stripe of gold and a stripe of red-violet put in it, and left a little bit for a tri-colored braid, THEN had the 8" chopped off it. I was happy mostly because it is the first time I've really felt like doing something for ME in a very, very long time. I mean something that related to how I looked and felt about myself. I would have gotten a manicure but they were busy. Frankly I would have gotten a tattoo if there'd been a parlor near LOL! What a day!

My birthday (14th) went fine. I got a few gifts from a few folks though my favorite was the constellation card from a friend and the message-in-a-bottle love letter from my boyfriend. Me and Ry went out to Olive Garden and ate enough carbs (and gluten) to keel over from... damn it was so good. Must return to MEAT=FOOD soon here, though!

PJ