Archmeds on the Heater

Not to complain. OK, to complain. My freaking heater went out. I paid over seven grand for a climate control system about 8-9 years ago. I've had to pay a few hundred bucks a few times now to fix various stuff. And the first night of the long holiday weekend (of course), just as the temperature finally drops to very cold (of course), my heater dies.

So after freezing for just over 5 days, they arrive to check it out and tell me I can either replace the 'heat cage' or whatever it is, or buy a whole new unit. A whole new unit, I know, would be 3-4 grand (recent quote to someone else). So that tells me the price range of the heat thing, if they're suggesting replacing the whole thing as an alternative.

This situation would result in my using a few cheap space heaters through the entire very cold midwest winter and freezing the entire time. This makes me very, very unhappy to contemplate. Very unhappy. Did I mention... unhappy. I actually was trying not to cry about it.

I have a spreadsheet of what to meditate on. I had just finished putting in the Thoth tarot on one page, and the items in our Solar System I want to do archmeds on in another page, and a ton of body parts (a few left to go) in another page. "Obviously," I told IG when the heating guy left, "I need to focus on fixing my life prior to going through a bazillion things as 'standards', yeah?"

"I dunno what I need," I griped. "But my main issue is I want to be warm and I am concerned about not having enough money. Those points need dealing with in an archetype. But you choose whatever is needed for the situation."

So I close my eyes, open up my 'space' from the middle and just walk to the tree on the plateau. IG wants me to be able to 'be anywhere' I feel, so I let her put her me in some kind of pod-thing, and I lay back in it and it closes, and when it's time I open my eyes and sit up and open the door of the pod. I'm sitting in space, in blackness, though I've a sense of various subtle distant things around.

I never know what the heck to DO on archs like that, very frustrating. I did what I did the last time I had one like that: I imagined myself becoming, or becoming aware of, myself as a gigantic energy body that expanded to totally fill that space, and imagined energy-of-me 'cleaning' it all. I had a lot of fuzzies all over while doing this so that seemed ok, but then I didn't know what to do again. I ranted at IG that it seemed stupid and I didn't know what to do. I felt so angry and impatient I could hardly stay still. I know I'm just taking it out on her.

I said, haven't I done enough you can give me another form? I don't like the space arch's! So I find myself back with her and a large medium brown very furry bear-like creature is the arch. I am nice to it and then I pull 'rain of love' and 'light of love' and so on down on both of us, and then I ask it if I can put it on a medical table as I sense it needs some kind of energy work inside, and it agrees. It needs a lot, and I focus on really pouring energy into various parts of its body that felt like they were problematic. I was sorta marveling that I was sending energy through my palms which were held out in front of me palm down, yet I felt it all the way through me in whatever body area I was focused on with him. The 'red dragon' arch had worked a little bit that way as I recalled.

I focused on going into his middle and finding the trace and following the root all the way to core for whatever energy was causing this problem, and healing it at core and then going back up the line as needed until I was at the surface again. By the time I was done (not very long) he seemed a normal size and sorta human and I was going to do the trade objects ritual, but I felt like hugging him and we did a nice body-rush merge at that point.

I wanted to do another archmed -- quick, before the 'manifestation' of the call I get from the HAC owner later with a price, I feel there is more that needs doing -- but felt I had to write this down since I've been insisting I will record my inner work.

{later}

I did another archmed... or most of one... in pieces. I said, this one should be about the 'being cold' and 'being vulnerable and helpless' and 'not having enough money' and whatever else relates. The arch was a person except they had a really big, long head, that was white, and had the weirdest solid-curly-flesh, I have nothing to compare it to. I suppose the more noteable point was that he had an arabic scimitar sword right through the middle of his head, as if someone had put it through his chin (which was abnormally low on his alien-ish yet kinda fishy face) and it was coming out the top back of the head.

I did all the basic stuff for archmeds with him. I shrunk and softened the scimitar and removed it, and dissolved it, and filled the hole with healing energy. I didn't really 'feel' anything though. I had this surprise visual of this big gold round thing sticking out horizontally from a wall, like a table with no legs but higher, and realized it was a giant gold coin, like say 10' diameter. I went to the top of it and it factured into a zillion pieces. Alien-head was getting less fishy and less alien on me and shrinking a little though. Still not human but getting closer.

We were to 'get into something' and holding his hand I took him to the edge and a rollercoaster car came up. We got in, did some swerving and speeding around (I felt that more than any other part so far), then it shifted and we were in a boat floating through some huge, dark but indoor area. Can't remember what happened after that, only that the last time I saw him he was getting pretty close to human, though still the funky solid white skin, and we were merging. I think. I felt a little, not a lot.

Seemed like I need to do a ton more work on this issue but I feel such upset it's hard to focus for it. This whole not having money with major expenses is really setting me off. I'm a renter, but the owner is my dad, and he has no money--he bought the house on sheer credit with me agreeing to do the payments/tax/insurance--so the major expenses that are all arriving with this 60 year old house, like needing to totally replace all water ductwork, totally rewire and ground it electrically, needs a new climate control thing and I already paid a ton for the last one, plus I need a car, and there's other stuff, all this and I have next to no money... it's just freaking me out I guess. I think I'm reacting to this with more than just the emotion of the heater, as if it summarizes every huge damn house expense I cannot begin to afford.

But, that's what meditative magick is for I guess. A new unit I know will cost me $3-4K. They are suggesting I consider that as an alternative to whatever the replacement thing turns out to cost, perhaps due to the unit's age and apparently huge expense anyway... I don't know how meditation can help with this, I only know the energies of my life are better if I let IG give me stuff to work with about it and I sincerely do it, so I'll have to hope for the best.

Seems to me this is the stuff -- the "watching my reality break down piece by piece" -- that archmeds are made to deal with. Of course, just DOING all the meditation/energy work I do, almost guarantees to bring my 'issues' and 'problem energies' up front and center to be 'dealt with'. Here's hoping I can do that... while not freezing to death.

PJ